Eternally ago he remembers:
"Ill seen, Ill said."
with total horror suddenly dawned (“ill seen, ill said”) on him me total death endless eternal no escape awful no me or you no he no I no we no no no it no nothing no anything no no no no no no no no non non no no no no no no no no no o no lest no least lest no least no no no little of least no baby no most nothing and more nothing and no light or nothing or all light and (“ill seen, ill said”) there then being no other thing if me or you or i it or he she or we or they or those or the ones or those others or those or that or them or I if I or if if if and now nothing to know or breathe (“ill seen, ill said”) or be or record terrible I fear my own why me why me why me to vanish it cant be it cant it cant it cant or if then no brain my going or parts and no life the breath the death the totality and then if no I or brain no thought ‘or thought of thought’ and no remember and no one to remember (“ill seen, ill said”) to recall already the cold the dark and no no one all the works and days all all all gone no hope no one to care and death it is all all all all al all all all all all all but you must type this all out write this all out endure the total horror of vanishment where are they all a where are my mother my father where will I be how will Victor and Dionne and Tamasin and the others even those I don’t love or don’t know or see and there are so many hands yet the place here so vast so vast huge vast no release no deferment all that thought and feeling but why and why and (“ill seen, ill said”) where there is no answer the or the answer is beyond and we are under there will be either hell or heaven or nothing or some dream or nightmare of nothing we an know or horror or not or nothing or and oceans of nothing the endless silence no escape awful no me or you no he no I no we no no no it no nothing no anything no no no no no no no no non non no no no no no no no no no o no lest no least lest no least no no no little of least no baby no most nothing and more nothing and (“ill seen, ill said”) no light or nothing or (“ill seen, ill said”) all light and there then being no other thing if me or you or i it or he she or we or they or those or the ones or those others or those or that or them or I if I or if if if and now nothing to know or breathe or be or record but it is the not knowing and even the wakening is terrible it is impossible we cant be what we are what of the great sleep (“ill seen, ill said”) and who and what and the beautiful works of hands and the beautiful people and all the beauty and ‘ugliness’ if so it can be defined and can anything be defined any point to anything no point no point no point no point no point absurd thought (“ill seen, ill said”) of before everything thought of dying dying dying dying dying dying dying I don’t want to go and to not be I don’t want to I don’t want to I don’t want to I and don’t want to I don’t want to into the infinity the infinite spaces the dark the light god or(“ill seen, ill said”) no god the bark of it the dark bark not Bach he cant help except to soothe then I can think only of you my death (“ill seen, ill said”) my death as my death is all death is your death is all annihilation is all is going is going is going is my going is gone is goneness is going away no one to read the eyes are fallible these things shall end these things there is no end in the endless
e n d l e s s a g o
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