Eyelight Blog
Post Texts The Infinite Project
I will not be succumbent .
I will not be succumbent .
(Georg Cantor -- the man who analysed Infinity, who Russell admired -- his countless and countable infinities
The ventriloquised, cacophonic texts
of Brass tend to different, although not unrelated
questions: are there
limits to poetic language? Is poetic language radically
heterogeneous, and if so, what is left of the form, (or gestalt),
of art? Does poetry give access to a hidden order of meaning, or is
it simply a play of surfaces? Is poetry finally more than a
collection of utterances under the heading 'poetry'? From Mallarme
onwards, the 'obscurity' of modernist writing challenges tacit
assumptions about the nature and function of poetry, eliciting
ontological questions about the purity or impurity of the poem in
relation to other modes of discourse. In Prynne's poetry, obscurity
is combined with excess: there is always more language, more
reference, more signification in an expenditure which may or may not
be concerned to recuperate some core of meaning from its riot of
utterances. Prynne's poems mime the signs of readability only to
withdraw them at the moment the reader believes intellectual
purchase has been gained...
_______________________________________________________________________
Then it was not as now....
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spot
what is
a mark, a spot?
why
do we link these points?
Immense jump from straight lines to
the
rich complex geometries of
Riemann, Gauss, Poincare and others…
I once
read about Poincare in the Howick library’s
Encyclopaedia Britannica –
one of
my favourite books –
and his
(like Giordano Bruno’s) endlessly recurring Universes
It is
said that these men such as Einstein think in different ways:
“I
frequently find myself thinking in images” Einstein is said to
have
said…
Bruno
was burnt for his ideas. (We kill for the Idea.)
vast
strange universe.
so
many in pain.
But
Life, like a huge Engine –
pumps
on…things seem ceaseless…
vast
strange, vast strange:
grim old
bright grin Man
…things seem
night cap
i am relatively old
(everyone is)
i
wear a woolen cap or hat as
i am
now quite or nearly bald…
But I
am thankful for life
----------------------
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Teeth
I just
brushed my teeth -
This
too is a beautiful act.
-------------------------------------------------
--------------------------------------------
life
I am
reading Is This a Man by Primo Levi.
He
survived hell, he survived Auschwitz.
He, it is
believed committed suicide not long
After
that book was published in English.
We think
of the millions, and Celan, and Anne Frank.
What,
except platitudes, are left us?
Life we
must keep contract with.
Let us
live as well as we can.
-----------------------------------------------------------
----------------------------------
bells
the curve, the silver, the gold
the simple ‘clong’ or ‘tong’
of a bell -
the endless seas (not far a Tui sings)
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politics
all
men, all women, all: even
the
‘good’, the reformers, the world changers:
all die
-------------------------------------------------
--------------------------------------------
change
good - bad
bad - good
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--------------------------------
poet
I said I was a poet –
In fact I insisted vociferously:
But the SS men still kicked me to death
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I talk
I
talk to myself, AND, yes, I do indeed talk back, for who else wants
to or who else would listen?
So I
have long discussions and disputations with myself: these
conversations go
on frequently – arguments ensue and great speeches
of enormous
historic significance take place. You have no idea.
And there is more
– songs are sung, and great bursts of sound, chuckles, mad
laughter, joyful mirth is heard – and comedy speeches – and
Lashings and
lashings of verbals and verbals and verbals and –
such wonder!
It is great fun
– a kind of licit madness
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I make a
speech of great, nay, vast historical significance
Here it is: “I was, I, well, things happened
I ate things, I, I...lived...thank
you.”
------------------------------------------
------------------------------------------------
“And once I wrote…”
…the last word shall want a word.
…and:
we beat strange
we beat strange
we beat strange
the sky is above us
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fires
we are
transitory here: victims of our cleverness:
have we sinned?
are we > sinned than singeing?
the song, the
Laugh is lost in
futile greatnesses: and the longed for end & amp; agony of
Not ness stupids our (my) writing doing doings...
But these fires:
here He lies unloved forever
where the grinning
Zilch will soon preside: before
expungement of
'all that spittle', 'all that useless love'. (but loved forever is
Latin or
Greek or Welsh we cant quite.....we recall a dim memory,
of some one we
were, who was -- did the words begin
with L or P? but
- you, you, 'shon, shon!' - undress;
we do,
obediently, quickly in the sheer terror of hope as the giggling
mind brings to mind a word like:
Parapatheticationatis
which seems as good as
anything to say, for it almost means... so, Dog Fire we obey, and
we undress for
our showers: & amp; we begin our endings,
our Endarkments...as the Arrow goes back...and we commence our slide into
mud Time's slime: pages of the burning Book reveal ravaged
meanings, decaying forms, disconnects, and,
say: this
unreliable speaking fragment:
this mud A begat this molecule B
who begat J who begat M who begat endless Begatness...
but here we
leave off:
for now the
Black Book shuts, burns as told:
fires explode, inexorable, and unbeatably horrid
and rigid aridity as all unapposable things
all things of
chaos and vacant-faced fire
and the Illusion
of the Real and of Good:
these total
Errors of Light, these Potatoes: leering idiot visages of the inane
chemical ragings of Nolove Nohate NoMemory...
in useless agony the Fire Heros toil against the insane heat:
I say again:
'What horror does the smothered scream, the
'What horror does the smothered scream, the
twisting of the limbless hope, the
dessicated death?'
------------
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-----------------
PART
TWO
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-----------------
My news of Joy is great today
With
Hone and Petie and Alex he played in the bushland round the corner
where the horses clopped along, or up around the dusty railway lines,
noticing the grains in things, the burning gritty overlay to
everything that could be called real. Over that, their words to each
other, like separate floating blobs.
The
ideogram, he explained, "means the thing or action or situation,
or quality germane to the several things that it pictures."
an
image was "an intellectual and emotional complex in an instant
of time."
_______________________________________________________
Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart -- composer and writer of strange & amusing letters.
OH
MY ASS BURNS LIKE FIRE!
Mozart
to Marrianne, November 5th, 1777.
When
he wasn't composing.....music....Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart could often
be found writing shockingly crude and often baffling letters to his
family. The fine example seen here, admirably translated by Robert
Spaethling, was penned to Mozart's 19-year-old cousing and possible
love interest, Marriane - also known as "Betsie" ["little
cousin"] - in November of 1777, at which point [Mozart] was 21
years of age.
Note:
The term "spuni cuni fait" was used in many of Mozart's
letters. Its meaning is unknown.
Dearest
cozz buzz!
I
have received reprieved your highly esteemed writing biting, and I
have noted doted
that
my uncle garfuncle, my aunt slant, and you too, are all well mell.
We, too, thank
god,
are in good fettle mettle. Today I got a letter setter from my Papa
Haha safely into my paws claws. I hope you too have gotten rotten my
note quote that I wrote for
you
in Mannheim. So much the better, better the much so! But now for some
thing
more
sensuble.
So
sorry to hear that Herr Ablate Salate had had another stroke choke.
But I hope with the help of God fraud the consequences will not be
dire mire. You are writing
fighting
that you keep your criminal promise which you gave me before my
departure
from
Augsburg, and will do it soon moon. Well, I will most likely find
that regrettable. You write further, indeed you let it all out, you
expose yourself, you indicate to me, you bring me the news, you
announce onto me, you state in broad daylight, you demand, you
desire, you wish you want, you like, you command that I, too, should
send you my Portrait. Eh bien, I shall mail fail it for sure.Oui, by
the love of my skin, I shit on your nose, so it runs down your chin.
apropós,
do you also have the spuni cuni fait?---what?---whether you still
love me?--I beleive it! so much the better, better the much so! Yes,
that's the way of the world, I'm told, one has the purse, the other
has the gold; whom do you side with?--with me, n'est-ce-pas?---I
believe it! Now things are even worse, apropós.
Wouldn't you
like to visit Herr Gold-smith again?---but what for?--what?---
nothing!---just
to inquire, I guess, about the Spuni Cuni fait, nothing else, nothing
else?---well, well, all right. Long live those who---who---who---how
does it go on?---
I now wish
you a good night, shit in your bed with all your might, sleep with
peace on your mind, and try to kiss your own behind; I now go off to
never-never land and sleep as much as I can stand. Tomorrow we'll
speak freak sensubly with each other. Things I must tell you a lot
of, believe it you hardly can, but hear tommorrow it already will
you, be well in the meantime. Oh my ass burns like fire! what on
earth is the meaning of this!---maybe much wants to come out? yes,
yes, muck, I know you, see you, taste you---and---what's this---is it
possible? Ye Gods!---Oh ear of mine are you deceiving me?---No, it's
true---what a long and melancholic sound!---today is the write I
fifth of this letter. Yesterday I talked with the stern Frau
Churfustin, and tommorrow, on the 6th, I give a performance in her
chambers, as the Furstin-Chur said to me herself. Now for something
real sensuble!
A letter
addressed to me will come into your hands, and I must beg of
you---where?---well a fox is no hare---yes, there!---Now, where was
I?---oh yes, now, I remember: letters, letters will come---but what
kind of letters?---well now, letters for me of course, I want to make
sure that you send these to me; I will let you know where I'll be
going from Mannheim. Now, Numero 2: I'm asking you, why not?---I'm
asking you, dearest numbskull, why not?---if you are writing anyway
to Madame Tavernier in Munich, please include regards from me to the
Mademoiselles Feysinger, why not?---Curious! why not?---and to the
Younger, I mean Frauline Josepha, tell her I'll send my sincere
apologies, why not?---why should I not apologize?---Curious!---I want
to apologize that I haven't yet sent her the sonata that I promised,
but I will send it as soon as possible, why not?---why shouldn't I
send it?---why should I not transmit it?---why not?---I wouldn't know
why not?---well, then you'll do me this favor,---why not?---why
shouldn't you do this for me?---why not?, it's so strange! After all,
I'll do it to you too, if you want me to, why not?---why shouldn't I
do it to you?---curious! why not?---I wouldn't know why not?---and
don't forget to send my Regards to the Papa and Mama of the 2 young
ladies, for it is terrible to be letting and forgetting one's father
and mother. Later, when the sonata is finished,---I will send you the
same, and a letter to boot; and you will be so kind as to forward the
same to Munich.
And now I
must close and that makes me morose. Dear Herr Uncle, shall we go
quickly to the Holy Cross Convent and see whether anybody is still
up?---we wont stay long, jut ring the bell, that's all. Now I must
relate to you a sad story that happened just this minute. As I am in
the middle of my best writing, I hear a noise in the street. I stop
writing---get up, go to the window---and---the noise is gone---I sit
down again, start writing once more---I have barely written ten words
when I hear the noise again---I rise---but as I rise, I can still
hear something but very faint---it smells like something
burning---wherever I go it stinks, when I look out the window, the
smell goes away, when I turn my head back to the room, the smell
comes back---finally My Mama says to me: I bet you let one go?---I
don't think so, Mama. yes, yes, I'm quite certain, I put it to the
test, stick my finger in my ass, then put it to my nose,
and---there's the proof! Mama was right!
Now
farewell, I kiss you 10000 times and I remain as always your
Old young
Sauschwanz
Wolfgang
Amade Rosenkranz
From us two
Travelers a thousand
Regards to
my uncle and aunt.
To every
good friend I send
My greet
feet; addio nitwit.
Love true
true true until the grave,
If I live
that long and do behave.
Mannheim,
5 November. 1777
..................................................................................................................................
Richard Taylor
Richard Taylor
Te Ika a Maui by Richard Taylor
Or,
[much information about NZ]
Richard Taylor
[Rev.
Richard Taylor (1805 - 1873) was an English missionary, who wrote
extensively on Maori culture and the plant and animal life of New
Zealand. Taylor graduated
from Queen's College, Cambridge in 1828 and was ordained as an
Anglican priest the same year. .... He was appointed as a missionary
to New Zealand for the Church Missionary Society. He arrived in
....... New Zealand in 1839. Taylor quickly became a peacekeeper
between the different Maori tribes in his district. This volume,
first published in 1855, provides a detailed account of Maori
mythology and culture with a description of the plant life, animal
life and geology of the North Island. Taylor strongly condemns
contemporary (nineteenth century) attitudes to Maori culture and
demonstrates the complexity of their culture in this book.]
CHAPTER I.
CIVILIZED man
is too apt to look down upon the more unenlightened portion of his
race as belonging to an inferior order of beings; ignorance of
interest have given rise to many calumnies against the aboriginal
inhabitants of remote lands, especially against those who differ from
us in color. It becomes a sufficient plea with those who regard
themselves of the higher race to depress and destroy the inferior [as
they perceive other human beings]. This has been the fruitful cause
of the greatest enormities: man has treated his fellow man as beasts
of the field, and has bought and sold them as such: it is only in the
present generation that an effort has been made to efface this blot
on our civilization, and even yet the Anglo-American Christian
maintains its lawfulness. Whole races of aboriginees have
disappeared; they have not been considered as entitled to hold their
own inheritance [more horror was to come and is continuing in this
respect: this was written before the events in Bury My Heart in
Wounded Knee by Dee Brown
had taken place but not before the destruction and depredations of
settlers in the US and before that the holocaust of the Spanish
Conquistadors that Montaigne, in the 16th Century, questioned deeply
in his great philosophic and questioning Essayes. Taylor may
have known something of this also.] The entire continent of America
was taken away from its inhabitants and solemnly bestowed by the
Roman Pontiff, on those who went to plunder and destroy them; and
even in our own colonies how much have we to blush for! The
Australian [Aboriginal people] has been shot and poisoned and
plundered of his lands; the Tasmanian was hunted with dogs and
exterminated, and that too by the authority of the Government itself.
In New Zealand there is no doubt something similar would have taken
place, if the natives had not been too numerous, too warlike, and too
intelligent to be thus dealt with; otherwise the order to seize all
their wastelands, as they were [wrongly] styled, would doubtless have
been attempted; but even these qualifications would not have been of
any avail, had not the Almighty cast his shield over them as a
portion of the household of faith.*
To raise
a better and more correct view, of those commonly regarded as
savages, we must have a more perfect acquaintance with them, and the
more intimate that is, the more readily shall we allow their claims
to brotherhood [here Taylor reflects 19th Century views of the
liberal and "good" middle classes including clerics and
religious men including himself, and talks of the Maori of having
fallen (in not those terms per se but in meaning) so that they may
one day as (presumably they embrace good Christian values and beliefs
etc of the implied "better" civilization (Tim Shadbolt's
Syphilization)]...and when those causes are removed, they will again
rise to their former standing, and rank with the most favored
sections of the human family.
...we
become acquainted with their language, manners, and customs, we find
that they possess mind as well as ourselves adn only want similar
advantages to obtain equal enlargement of it. Our ideas are so
different from those primitive and isolated people, that theirs may
seem at first to betoken an inferiority of mind; but when we can
enter into the causes, which have operated in producing the
difference, we must allow the result to be quite natural.
...even
[the Australian Aboriginee], who has been cast in the lowest grade, and
been viewed as more closely allied to the brute than to the human
species, possesses mind, ingenuity, contrivance, and perfection, too,
in his way, far beyond what might be expected; and that were we to
place one of our own laborers, or even a more enlightened member of
society [why cant he see that this comparison is, paradoxically, part
of the problem: the assumption of spiritual or moral or other
"Progress"? Taylor is a part of his society and is 'better'
that those who simply did, and still do, dismiss, all such people as
inferior to those who are "civilized" -- and in Australia
[as he knew, he was there and new of some of the barbarities there
inflicted on the indigenous people, and indeed the genocide -- he is
very enlightened for his times. Very few, except such as he educated
in the English or other Universities could grasp the subtleties --
and he did a lot of good work. He is part of the System or of
History. And yet, in his good parts, and he seems a basically good
man, we owe him a lot as the history tells us.], in a similar
position, it would be a long time before he could attain, and equal
degree of knowledge in any of those arts, which are needful for the
support of life.
This is
no fanciful assertion....[for example, in early 1830-60 NZ]; but in
obtaining food, how far is the boasted member of civilized life,
behind the despised savage. The native of New Holland [NZ, i.e. the
Maori people] not only knows where to look for it, but how to obtain
it; he can fabricate from the raw materials of the wilderness, the
proper snare or net; he can make his spear and use it with unfailing
success, and barren and unproductive as his country appears to us,
in furnishing natural food, it has a sufficiency for those who know
how to find and take it.
.......................
...the
subject of civilization. With us, society is divided to an
indefinite extent; one is brought up in one useful art, and another
in another; with a few exceptions there are none who can turn their
hands to any other, than their own perculiar calling. The New
Zealander [Maori or a member of the many tribes in NZ at the time of
Taylor's book], on the contrary, is acquainted with every branch of
knowledge, common to his race **: he can bulid his house, he can
make his canoe, his nets, his lines; he can manufacture snares to
suit every bird; he can form traps for the rat; he can fabricate his
garments, and every tool and implement he requires, whether for
agriculture or war; he can make ornaments of ivory of of the hardest
stone, and these too with the most simple and apparently unsuitable
instruments, sawing his ivory without loss, with a muscle-shell, and
his hard green jade stone one piece with another, with only the
addition of a little sand and water; and all these works,it must be
remembered, he could accomplish without the aid of iron, which was
unknown before Cook's time. It was not a single individual or a few
who were adept in these various arts, but every one....In the
battlefield they were warriors, in the council they were orators;
military men...it would be no easy matter to find any European who,
in so many respects, could equal the despised savage of New Zealand.
[Taylor
points out the positive values of 'tapu' despite the negative
aspects, we might feel of 'revenge', Taylor doesn't say it, but
Richard Taylor I say as I have read that it was as much about
balancing nature as for revenge. Also Hone Heke's chivalry in dealing
with a defeated enemy and contrasted with the terrible massacres of
the French of the Oulad Riahs in their rebellion against the French
who colonized Algeria...basically, trapped in a cave '....the French
officer commanded his men to stop up the entrances with combustible
materials, and then set fire to them, and to keep those fires burning
the whole of the night. [The terrible result is described by Taylor
(his example is conveniently of a Catholic nation? The British were
also responsible of similar atrocities in varous places, and indeed
the entire history of colonization and European expansion, we know is
thus, more or less.]
...but the
the soldiers had nerve enough to to plunder the corpses of their
jewels!" At one fell blow 800 to 1000 beings thus fearfully
perished!! And this too in the nineteenth century, and, as they eye
witness of this horrid holocaust states, the perpetrators belonged to
a nation boasting itself pre-eminently, as the most polite and
civilized in the world;" and, in addition too, he might have
said, professedly
Christian,
as well.
After
Kororareka fell into Heke's hands, he allowed the inhabitants to
re-enter their houses, and carry off their chief valuables; he spared
the churches and the houses of the ministers; and after the battle
was terminated, he was not guilty of a single act of cruelty, but
showed great feeling and forbearance....
[New
Zealanders -- Maori people as we might call them, or the more recent
term 'Tangata Whenua' -- were not saints, had customs & ways
Europeans might criticise or revile -- but they were human beings
with many good attributes.]
*But Taylor
was not to know the full extent of the slow and sometimes fast
invasion of Aotearoa by colonists, speculators and deforestors that
continued through wars and still is a factor in politics and protest
even today (November 2019 as I write this out from my namesake's
book. Of course, he evokes his religion over that of Catholicism. But
all such religions assisted in these destructions of culture and
people he talks about. But still this remains a fascinating book by a
wise and good man.
** 'Race' was and still is
used erroneously here: it was particularly common a term in
the times preceding the
present. Of course there are different groups of people but defining
them as a 'race' was automatic as was talking about 'Man' rather than
people.
Is Taylor thus 'bad', a
racist? Could even he transcend that?
..................
.........................................
................................ .............................
Wiremu Kingi to the
Governor.
Waitara, 25th April,
1859.
Friend,
Salutations to you. Your
letter has reached me about TeTeira's and Te Retimana's thoughts. I
will not agree to our bedroom being sold. (I mean Waitara here),
for this bed belongs to the whole of us: and do not you be in
haste to give the money. Do you hearken to my word. If you give the
money secretly, you will get no land for it. You may insist, but I
will never argree to it. Do not suppose that this is nonsense on my
part: no, it is true, for it is an old word: and now I have no new
proposal to make, either as regards selling or anything else. All I
have to say to you, O Governor, is that none of this land will be
given to you, never, never, not till I die.
I have heard it said that
I am to be imprisoned because of this land. I am very sad because of
this word. Why is it? You should remember that the Maories and the
Pakehas are living quietly upon their pieces of land, and therefore
do not you disturb them. Do not say also that there is no one so bad
as myself.
This is another word to
you, O Governor. The land will never, never be given
to you, not till death. Do
not be anxious for men's thoughts. This is all I have to say to you.
From your loving friend,
WIREMU KINGI WHITI
Wiremu Kingi
Kingi refused to sell land in Taranaki. This led to the First Taranaki War, which began on 17th March 1880. He led the Maori forces in that region.
This from Wikipedia:
The stakes grew as Kīngi refused to budge. [Sell land in Taranaki, a purchase that a European Judge had declared illegal].
Prominent settlers called for him to be surrounded, deported and, if he fired one shot, hanged. The Government pressed ahead and sent in surveyors, declaring that once the survey was complete, the land would be occupied by the military to prevent any Māori occupation. They were blocked by the Te Atiawa people, so the army was sent in. The first shots of the First Taranaki War were fired on 17 March 1860. The war lasted a year and decided nothing except that the Māori were better tacticians than the Pakeha. There followed an uneasy truce when the government agreed to re-examine the question and, three years later, Governor George Grey renounced the purchase.
After the war Kīngi withdrew inland beyond the areas influenced by the Pākehā with the people of Ngati Maru at Manutangihia, in the upper reaches of the Waitara River. In 1863 Kīngi went to the Waikato to take part in this campaign. He was at Rangiriri Pa after the defeat at Mere mere by General Cameron. Like many of the leaders he found a reason to leave Rangiriri as the British army, supported by militia and kupapa (loyal) Maori closed in. When the British gunboats appeared Wiremu Kīngi left. After 12 years he returned to New Plymouth to make his peace with the Pākehā government and later retired to Parihaka where he lived with the prophet Te Whiti o Rongomai for several years. His last years were spent at Kaingaru near Waitara where he died on 13 January 1882.
Wiremu Kingi
Kingi refused to sell land in Taranaki. This led to the First Taranaki War, which began on 17th March 1880. He led the Maori forces in that region.
This from Wikipedia:
The stakes grew as Kīngi refused to budge. [Sell land in Taranaki, a purchase that a European Judge had declared illegal].
Prominent settlers called for him to be surrounded, deported and, if he fired one shot, hanged. The Government pressed ahead and sent in surveyors, declaring that once the survey was complete, the land would be occupied by the military to prevent any Māori occupation. They were blocked by the Te Atiawa people, so the army was sent in. The first shots of the First Taranaki War were fired on 17 March 1860. The war lasted a year and decided nothing except that the Māori were better tacticians than the Pakeha. There followed an uneasy truce when the government agreed to re-examine the question and, three years later, Governor George Grey renounced the purchase.
After the war Kīngi withdrew inland beyond the areas influenced by the Pākehā with the people of Ngati Maru at Manutangihia, in the upper reaches of the Waitara River. In 1863 Kīngi went to the Waikato to take part in this campaign. He was at Rangiriri Pa after the defeat at Mere mere by General Cameron. Like many of the leaders he found a reason to leave Rangiriri as the British army, supported by militia and kupapa (loyal) Maori closed in. When the British gunboats appeared Wiremu Kīngi left. After 12 years he returned to New Plymouth to make his peace with the Pākehā government and later retired to Parihaka where he lived with the prophet Te Whiti o Rongomai for several years. His last years were spent at Kaingaru near Waitara where he died on 13 January 1882.
Sealers, Whalers, and
Burial Places
Tuhawaiki
to George Clarke Jnr. and Colonel Wakefield at Otakou (Otago)
Harbour.
George
Clarke wrote: 'The principal Chiefs were Tuhawaiki and Taiaroa ...
One day we crossed over with them to look at ground which they wished
to retain, and, walking to the top of the hill, Tuhawaiki asked the
Colonel, Mr Symonds, and myself to sit down. Stretching out his arm
and pointing with his finger ... he said,
Look
here, Karaka...here and there, and there and yonder; those are all
burial places, not ancestral burial places, but those of this
generation. Our parents, uncles, aunts, brothers, sisters, children,
they lie thick around us. We are but a poor remnant now...The wave
which brought Ruaparaha and his allies to the Strait, washed him over
to the Southern Island. He went through us, fighting and burning and
slaying. At Kaikoura, at Kaiapoi, and at all other of our
strongholds, hundreds and hundreds of our people fell, hundreds more
were carried off as slaves, and hundreds died of cold and starvation
in their flight. We aer now dotted in families, few and far between,
where we formerly lived as tribes. But we had a worse enemy than even
Rauparaha, and that was the visit of the Pakeha with his drink and
his disease. You think us very corrupted, but the very scum of Port
Jackson shipped as whalers or landed as sealers on this coast. They
brought us new plagues, unknown to our fathers, till our people
melted away....one year, a ship came from Sydney, and she brought the
measles among us. It was winter, as it is now. In a few months most
of the inhabitants sickened and died. Whole families on this spot
disappeared and left no one to represent them. My people lie all
around us, and now you can tell Wide-awake (Wakefield) why we cannot
part with this portion of our land.
[ The great
chief Tuhawaiki...as George Clarke writes in Notes on Early Life
in New Zealand, Hobart 1903, pp. 62-63....was
respected...]....'His place of residence was on the Island of
Ruapuke...but he travelled a great deal, because his influence and
authority extended....[He was welcoming and fair with most Pakeha and
other Maori]...When in his dealings with Europeans he had to sign
important papers, he drew the beautiful spiral curves and lines with
which his face was tatooed...The prospect of having a European colony
ni his district was of great importance to him; but he was prudent,
and kept such thoughts [re land purchase etc] to himself.' J.F.H.
Wohlers, Memories of the The Life of J. F. H. Wohlers, edited
by John Houghton, Dunedin 1895, pp 86-97.
The
Waitangi Treaty Debate, 1840
The
British Government extended authority only slowly over its subjects
in New Zealand. Thomas Kendall was designated a Justice of the Peace
in 1814. The New South Wales settler, James Busby, was appointed
official Resident in 1832. In 1834 he assisted a group of chiefs
from the Bay of Islands – Hokianga districts to choose a New
Zealand flag, and the following year to sign a declaration of
independence. In 1839 Captain Hobson was sent to negotiate a treaty
transferring sovereignity from ' the chiefs of the confederated
tribes' to Great Britain. The wording and negotiation of the treaty
were left to 'amateurs' in Australia and New Zealand; much in the
same way as, at the same period, on a more vast and far-reaching
scale, attempts at negotiation were approved between British
personnel and Chinese authorities which led to the European-Chinese
wars of 1839-60
[This
refers to the 2 Opium Wars which were in British and French reaction
to the Chinese Government's confiscation of illegal opium. European
traders smuggled opium illegally into China causing huge rates of
Chinese addiction. That it was illegal made no difference because of
the revenues gained. Hong Kong was ceded 'in perpetuity' to Britain
and huge financial extortions were exacted by the British and the
French. Opium trading and growing in China were enforced as legal.
Britain and France thus were able to force Chinese farmers to grow
opium and also opium was sold in China and Britain and other places.
The Imperialist forces thus acted de facto as criminals trading in
narcotics: like modern gangs, and local Chinese also traded. This
corrupt extortion and 'gun boat diplomacy' was part of the cynical
process of the Anglo-French Imperialisms....Maori were dealing with a
huge, corrupt gang of drug dealers and murders, with whom they were
making a treaty! Maori knew a lot by now about European affairs but
probably were fooled by some of the apparent 'good guys' etc. What if
they had known of the long terrible details of Colonialism and the
destruction of indigenous peoples, in some cases the extermination of
them in so many parts of the world by European Imperialist nations?]
4.1
Waitangi, 5 February
From
speeches at a meeting held in front of James Busby's house.
i.
Te Kemara: Go Back
Health
to thee, O Governor! This is mine to thee, O Governor! I am not
pleased towards thee.... I will not consent to thy remaining here in
this country. If thou stayest as Governor, the, perhaps,Te Kemara
will be judged and condemned. Yes, indeed, and more than that –
hung by the neck. No, no, on; I shall never say 'YES' to your
staying. Were all to be on an equality, then, perhaps, Te Kemara
would saty, 'Yes;' but for the Governor to be up and Te Kemara down –
Governor high up, up, up, and Te Kemara down low, smal, a worm, a
crawler – No, no, no. O Governor! This is mine to thee. O Governor!
My land us gone, gone, all gone. The inheritances of my ancestors,
fathers, relatives, all gone, stolen, gone with the missionaries.
Yes, they have it all,all, all. That man there, the Busby, and that
man there, the Williams, they have my land. The land on which we are
now standing this day is mine! This land, even this under my feet,
return it to me. O Governor! Return me my lands. Say to Williams,
'Return to Te Kemara his land.' Thou....thou, thou, thou bald-headed
man – thou hast got my lands....I do not wish thee to stay.....
ii Rewa: This Country is Ours
What do Native men want of a Governor? We are not whites
nor foreignors. This country is ours, but the land is gone.....No,
no. Return. I, Rewa, say to thee, O Governor! Go back.
4.4
v Tareha: This is My Food
Our lands are nearly all gone. Yes, it is so, but our
names remain. Never mind; what of that – the lands of our fathers
alienated? Dost thou think we are poor, indigent, poverty-stricken –
that we really need thy foreign garments, thy food? Lo! Note this.
(Here he held up high a bundle of fern-roots he carried in his hand,
displaying it.) See, this is my food, the food of my ancestors, the
food of the Native people. Pshaw, Governor! To think of tempting men
– us Natives – with baits of clothing and food!....No, no, no. I
will never say 'yes, stay.' Go back, return; make haste away. Let me
see you (all) go, thee and thy ship. Go, go; return, return.
SOURCES AND COMMENTARY
4.1 William Colenso, The Authentic and Genuine
History of the Signing of the
Treaty of Waitangi, Wellington 1890, pp.
17-27, and T. L. Buick, The Treaty of
Waitangi, New Plymouth 1936, p. 142.
[Tareha] 'Tareha was clother with a filthy piece of
carse old floor-matting,
loosely tied around him....He was evidently
dressed in this manner in order the
more effectually to ridicule the supposition
of the New-Zealanders (Maori as
opposed to Pakeha) being in want of any
extraneous aid of clothing, etc., from
foreign nations. He also carried in his hand,
by a string, a bunch of dried fern-
root, formerly their common vegetable food, as
bread with us. His habit, his
immense size – tall and very robuest (being by far
the biggest Native in the
whole district) – and his deep sepulchral
voice, conspired to give him peculiar
prominence, and his words striking effect.....
[Not all Maori signed. Many chiefs did.]
[Tamati Waaka Nene spoke in a more accommodating way.]
vi Tamaki Waaka Nene: Is Not the Land Already Gone?
I
shall speak first to us,....[had they said go back to the traders of
grog etc before 1840]....it would have been correct [to tell Busby
etc to go back]....But now,as things are, no, no, no...O Governor!
Sit. I, Tamati Waka, say to thee, sit. Do not thou go away from us;
remain for us – a father, a judge, a peacemaker...stay thou, our
friend, our father, our Governor.
Taupo and Rotorua, March – May
...ii Te Heuheu (II) Tukino at Rotorua: Do Not
Consent
Hau wahine e hoki i te hau o Tawhaki - I will never
consent to the mana of a woman resting upon these islands. I myself
will be a chief of these isles; therefore, begone! Heed this, O ye
Arawa. Here is your line of action, the line for the Arawa canoe. Do
not consent, or we will become the slaves for this woman, Queen
Victoria
Hone Heke and the Flag and the Question of
Land
6.7
Land is Enduring
Letters
from Kawiti to the Governor written in 1845.
...i
You Shall Not Have My Land, September 1845.
O
Friend the Governor, -- Saluting you. This is my word to you. Will
you not hear my word? .... ...as regards this, you shall not have my
land....I have been fighting for my land......
This is the end of my speech. I ceses here,
From me,
KAWITI.
6.8 You Are A Stranger
Hone Heke to
Governor Fitzroy, 2 December 1845.
Friend the new
Governor, -- You are a stranger. We are strangers. We do not
understand your thoughts, and you do not understand our thoughts.
What is the right meaning of the word of Governor Fiz Roy? Land? Not
by any means -- because God made this country for us, it cannot be
sliced-- if it were a Whale it might be sliced--but as for this--do
you return to your own Country, to England which was made by God for
you. God has made this land for us, and not for any stranger or
foreign Nation to touch (or meddle with) this sacred Country. Yours
is heavy. New Zealand is heavy too-- my thoughts to (or towards) Mr.
Williams have ended, that is all.
10.5 A Narrow Strip of
Land
The battle of Gate pa,
29th April, 1864, as described by Kowhai Ngutu Kaka.
We were on a narrow
strip of land, with water on both sides of us, an enemy at our rear
and an enemy in front.....Our....position was very similar to that of
a snared rat or parrot, but we determined to make the best of it. The
attack was about to commence from the front. We could see them
dragging up their big guns to fire at out flax-sticks. It put us in
mind of a man trying to tomahawk a mostquito or namu (sandfly). Our
chiefs told us to keep low in the ditch, and not poke our heads above
the level.
...The uproar soon
commenced and we had a lively time of it; but we sat and smoked our
pipes. The canons roared, the big mortars banged away, and so did the
little ones, the rifles cracked, and the shower of lead and iron and
bursting shells rattled over our heads. Every now and then a report
like thunder was heard loud above the din. This was the
hundred-and-ten pounder Armstrong gun, making a big noise....
Towards the evening the
enemy in front came on with a rush and a cheer, and charged up to our
ditch....The enemy in the rear....now advanced, firing volley after
volley, intending them for us, but they passed on to their friends in
front, who returned them with interest, thinking it came from us; but
we had not fired at all. Then both sides retreated from each other,
and then....we rose and gave them the contents of our guns, and they
fled in haste, leaving their dead and dying with us....
We treated their
wounded well ... abd gave Colonel Booth, of the 43rd, a resting place
for his head, and .... water near him to slake his thirst.... We left
the battlefield early the next morning.
11. Guerilla War, 1865
- 72
The Waikato river had
been deeply penetrated and with gunboats, artillery, and 10,000
troops, resistance was overcome. The Waikato tribes submitted in
1865. However in the still more rugged interior, guerilla warfare
continued between religious Maori leaders with their followers and
colonial forces with Maori allies. Te Kooti Rikirangi founded an
indigenous faith, and, from 1868 until 1872, led fighting groups on
the East Coast and in the mountainous Uruwera heartland. On the West
Coast, Tikowaru, chief of the Nga-ruahine tribe of the Waimate
plains, fought on in Taranaki during 1868 and 1869.
11.1 Do Not Thou, O God
'A "Hauhau"
prayer use in the Chatham Islands written by Te Kooti in his own
hand, faithfully translated by W. Colenso.'
O God, if our hearts
arise from the land in which we now dwell as slaves, adn repent and
paray to Thee and confess our sins in Thy presence, then, O Jehovah,
do Thou blot out the sins of Thy people, who have sinned against
Thee. Do not Thou, O God, cause us to be wholly destroyed. Wherefore
it is that we glorify Thy Holy Name.
Amen.
11.3 The Trade in Our
Heads
According to Kowhai Ngutu
Kaka
We thought that the
trade in our heads, formerly carried on between the Christian pakeha
and the savage Maor at the Bay of Islands, called the 'Preserved Head
Trade,' had come to an end in or about the year 1830, but it was
recommenced by a Governor of New Zealand. If our heads are buried at
one place and our bodies elsewhere, at the last day these bodies
won't know where to find their heads, and the heads won't know where
their bodies are, and the confusion will be great; and probably some
bodies will have to suffer for the conceived wrong of heads that did
not belong to them; bu this is by no means an unusual thing to
happen.....It was Sir George Bowen who offered ₤1000
for Tikowaru's head, not that Tikowaru felt annoyed at this, as it
was only natural that having failed to remove his head from his
shoulders by fair means that unfair means should be tried to obtain
it....So Tikowaru offered in return half-a-crown--two shillings and
sixpence....which was kept tied up for security in an old shirt, for
Sir George Bowen's head. No doubt each of these great rangatira
warriors knew the value of each other's head.....Sir George BOwen put
us in mind of Herodias, who wished for the head of John the Baptist.
Only that Herodias was successful in obtaining what she wanted,
because she knew how to set about it, and Sir George Bowen was not,
because he didn't.
11.4 My Own Abiding Place
Te Kooti Rikirangi "TO
ALL GOVERNMENT MEN', August, 1871.
Sirs, -- This is a word
of mine to you. You must give up chasing me about, because I am
dwelling in my own abiding place, the bush. But if I come out to the
coast then pursue me. This murderous purpose of yours is like a rat
rooting in excrement. You must give it up. Send a man to tell me to
come out to you in the open, where we can fight. That would be fair.
THIS IS ANOTHER WORD.
My thought is that in
the maintenance of peace adn in the cultivation of food is safety. I
am trying to carry out these thoughts and to accomplish them. Sirs,
that idea of your that we should fight has not come to me yet; but I
am about to adopt your idea. So, beware. Do not say it will not be.
THAT IS ALL.
Sirs, -- I sent to you
some of my tyoung men to carry my letter warning you and you attacked
them. Cease then to complain about your misfortune....They were you
men and they loved their country. That is all. If you dislike these
words, what does it matter? All the worse for you.
13.
I Stand For Peace, 1879-
At his village of
Parihaka, on the western prontory of Taranaki, under the morning
shadow of the sacred mountain, Taranaki, for nearly thirty years Te
Whiti led campaigns of passive resistance and fo forty years he
preached peace.
In 1879, the
Government offered for sale 16,000 acres of the Waimate plains, which
included Titowaru's land and would have included Maori reserves. Te
Whiti had the surveyers and their equipment loaded on drays and
returned over a river boundary. From May until August, Maori
ploughmen each day cut furrows through European farms across
Taranaki.
Just as, in 1913,
Gandhi was to lead 2,000 Indian workers on a passive resistance march
from Durban to Johannesburg, being arrested three times himself
during the course of the march; so, in 1881, Te Whiti enjoined 2,000
men, women and children to peace when troops came to arrest him. He
was arrested and kept for two years without trial.
During 1884 and
1885, organized groups moved out 'in orderly procession' regularly
from Parihaka at least once each month, stopping to enjoy hospitality
at different Maori settlements.
In July, 1886,
similar groups built thatched houses on several European farms. Te
Whiti was re-arrested and jailed for three months. He received the
same sentence again in 1889.
In 1897, when
perpetual leases were granted to settlers holding a 30-year lease of
Maori reserves, ploughmen again went out to overturn the soil of
Taranaki.
..................................................................................................................................
13.1 His Presence
Remains
From 'The Parihaka
Song'.
Here Te Whit's white
plume is in its place--
Let the winds from
without come to break it.
At the darkest hour his
presence remains,
Imprinted like endless
tide upon my body.
From whence come
misfortunes assailing us?
….Which make the
downfall of our chiefs
Something murmered on the
lips of the world.
13.2 We Cannot Be
Overcome
We have two lands now--
the one both people are living on, and the new on. I will not scatter
you now. Our place was foretold, which is Parihaka. We cannnot be
overcome if we remain here, if we fled I would sacrifice myself to
the gun to save you....Now all the sea and the land is shaken, even
the fish in the sea tremble. The south wind is bringing men.....and
the big guns are being brought....I shall place no weapons in your
hands. You were imprisoned for ploughing and fencing, but there is no
imprisonment for what we are now doing....I will thrust you into the
mouth of guns...I have no place to hide you except on this marae, and
we cannot be overcome...Those who flee from the guns will fall by
them. If you are overwhelmed
in this day be
patient...have faith...
13.3 Remain in
Peace
Major Te Wheoro
describes events at Parihaka, Taranaki.
[The House of
Representatives, May 30, 1882]
This Bill provides that
Te Whiti and Tohu shall be detained in prison without trial, but as
he has been arrested by the law he ought to be brought to trial by
the law....The Government have also brought forward an Indemnity Bill
freeing them from any wrongs they have done at Parihaka, which means
that the House should say that those actions taken at Parihaka were
not wrong.....[Because of the need thus for those who entered
Parihaka to “cover themselves” it follows that:] ….It is
therefore clear that the steps taken there were excessive, and that
the Bill is brought forward to justify the actions they took there.
Notwithstanding the
statement of the late Premier….thousands of troops were sent up
there under arms, amidst the weak and unoffending women and children.
These Natives were remaining peacefully there, and were laughing at
the steps taken against them. The troops then burnt their houses and
rooted out their crops. When Te Whiti and Tohu were being arrested
they told the Natives they were leaving behind to remain in peace
during their absence, and not make any disturbance. The Natives have
obeyed those words of Te Whiti and Tohu, who both gave them the same
instructions. I think that Te Whiti is the best friend of the
Government, although he si called a fanatic. He has told his people
not to take up arms, but to leave the wrath in the hands of God....It
is owing to the position taken by these two men that there has been
peace in that district throughout many years....I hope that the new
members in this House ….. will recollect that it was the land that
caused this first trouble at Waitara....When the Government refused
to listen to Wiremu Kingi's objection, he went and built a pa on the
land. Therefore I say that this didn't occur off-hand, but there was
a reason why this trouble arose there....and this applied to other
parts of the Island, and to Taranaki when the land was taken. The
confiscation pf tjos ;amd at Taranaki remained in force until the
year 1977....[some Maori were allowed to have some land confiscated,
and land returned] ...but consequent Governments did not define or
sanction the reserves made by that Minister, and all these matters
were allowed to stand over in an unsettled state up to the time when
the Natives began ploughing the land. The Natives commenced to
plough the land in order to test their rights of ownership....The
Government...took these prisoners and left the thing standing over as
it had been before. After this the Parliament appointed Commissioners
to inquire into this matter, and the decision of these Commissioners
had not been made known to the Natives when Te Whiti and Tou were
arrested. It is for these reasons that Te Whiti did not listen to the
proposals of the Government—because of the wrong way in which
matters had been carried on in that part of the country. That is what
Te Whiti acted [it seemed] in such a strange way— because the
promisees and proposals of the Government had never been fulfilled.
___________________________________________________
...The
idea...is that the Native Minister can have Te Whiti detained in
prison in the South Island, and take him about and have exhibited to
him all the ornaments of the Europeans, and the wonders to be seen
there, with the object of enlarging his mind. But I say this: that is
the best way of teaching Te Whiti what to do when he gets back...He
is aman who has studied well the forms and usages of the Europeans.
He has also studied well the Scriptures, and made himself master of
them; and when a man thoroughly understands the Scriptures his mind
is capable of understanding great things. Te Whiti received a very
good education.....
….The
honorable member for _____ _____ , speaking the other night with
reference to the Maoris, applied the word “savages” to them. He
called them a horde of savages. Sir, I would draw your attention to
that, because you may judge from that what the Europeans think of the
Maoris. It it is true that they are savages, what were the Europeans
in the old days? I have looked up the books written by your people
about yourselves, and I find that you were in a like position some
years ago. I do not know whether the honorable gentleman did not know
the meaning of that term, or whether he thought I did not understand
him. I do not suppose that any of his ancestors ever came under that
appellation...I think it is only right that any feeling of that kind
should be left on one side. If we are ignorant, if we have not
reached that state of enlightenment that you have, it has not been
our fault. I have heard that the English race is indebted to the
Romans for the first gleam of civilization, and I consider it is your
place to act as the Romans did, and give us the benefit of the
civilization which you possess.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
13.6 By Forbearance
Published sayings of Te
Whiti, recorded at Parihaka, 1879-81.
i Smite Not In Return
To the ploughmen, June,
1879.
Go, put
your hands to the plough. Look not back. If any come with guns and
swords, be not afraid. If they smite you, smite not in return. If
they rend you, be not discouraged. Another will take up the good
work. If evil thougths fill the minds of the settlers, and they flee
from their farms to the town as in the war of old, enter not you into
their houses, touch not their goods nor their cattle. My eye is over
all.
ii Words of
The Spirit
To reporters, June,
1879
When I
speak of the land, the survey, the ploughman, and such small amtters,
the pencils of the reporters fly witht the speed of the wind, but
when I speak of the words of the spirit, they say this is the dream
of a madman! They are so greedy for gain that nothing seems to
concern them except it be in some way connected with accumulation of
wealth.
vii Patience
To the people, 1
November, 1881.
My
word to the tribe.....You must believe my teaching, or you will die.
There are many days for repentance. He who seeks life shall die, and
he who seeks death shall live. Let us all remain here at Parihaka,
which came frm heaven, and none shall be taken...Do not think I am
fighting against men, but rather against the devil and all
wickedness. that he may be destroyed. Let us not use carnal weapons.
Listen. Do not let us seek that which is lost--not look back to what
is left. This is a day of teaching to this assembly of what shall
guide us in future. The ark by which we are to be saved today is
stoutheartedness, and flight is death. Let this sink into the ears of
all, even the children. There is to be nothing about fighting to-day,
but the glorification of God, and peace on the land. Many generations
wished to see this day; but we, a blind, small, and a despised people
have been chosen and glorified this day....Obey God, and glorify Him;
do not be distracted by the shouting, laughing, and gathering
together....My gun of to-day is not my gun of former years. All
fighting is now to cease. Do not follow your won desires, lest God's
sword fall upon you...The canoe by which you are saved is
forbearance...It will save us all. The land we spoke of is the old
land; but if we choose a new land we shall be saved....Put both your
hands and your feet on the new land and stand in the ark of patience.
No man, woman, or child shall say I only have not seen or heard. All
will hear and see. Lightening is not seen fom one place only, but
from everywhere. Let us stand on the new land...What matter to us
what happens; we have our ark, as Noah of old. I now say come into
the artk. Now is the glory of peace upon the land. Let us wait for
the end; there is nothing else for us. Let us rest quietly upon the
land. I have one word to say in addition: The young people have
hitherto had their way; but to-day they must only sit down and look
on.
....The south wind knows whence it cometh and whither it
goeth; let the booted feet come when they like, the land shall remain
firm for ever.
Te Whiti o Rongomai - a prophet and leader of the
brilliant resistance to the landgrabbers of his land
in Parihaka. The first passive but brave resistance.
Te
Whiti in about 1900:
"...As for our own wars of the olden times? Yes,
they were the outcome of a heart closed up with envy--greed of
land...greed of everything one has and the other has not. But then
they were blind--madly blind."
...He
leaned over and almost whispered, as he, pointing backward said:
"Ask that mountain; Taranaki saw it all!" [Willliam
Baucke, Where The White Man Treads...2nd
ed., Auckland 1928, pp. 165-166]
....................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................
I will not be succumbent.
__________________________________________________________________
Dear
Theo by Irving Stone
and Jean Stone
__________________________________________________________________
P54
.....I feel
that it is absolutely necessary to have good things to look at and
also to see artists to work...
Even from
relatively bad artists one can indirectly learn much; as, for
instance, Mauve learned from Verschuur about the perspective of a
stable and a wagon, and the anatomy of a horse....
....Many a
good painter has not the slightest or any idea what proportions for
drawing are, or beautiful lines, or characteristic composition and
thought and poetry.
There are
laws of proportion, of light and shadow, or perspective which one
must know in order to draw well; without that knowledge it always
remains a fruitless struggle, and one never brings forth anything.
P56
The
cheapest way would perhaps be for me to spend this summer at Etten; I
can find there subjects enough. I am willing to give in about dress
or anything else to suit them, and perhaps would meet C.M. there [I
think this is Claude Monet] some day. They will always, either in or
outside the family, judge me or talk about me from different points
of view, and you will always hear the most different points of views
about me.....[but] relatively few people know why an artist artist
acts this way or that.
But in
general, he who, to find picturesque spots or figures, searches all
manner of places, corners, and holes which another passes by, is
accused of many bad intentions and villainies which have never
entered his head.
A peasant
who sees me draw an old tree-trunk, and sees me sitting there for an
hour, thinks that I have gone mad, and of course laughs at me. A
young lady ... who turns up her nose at a labourer in his patched,
dirty, and filthy clothes, of course cannnot understand why
anyone...descends the shaft of a coal mine, and also comes to the
conclusion that I am mad.
P 59
....Without
my knowing it you have sent me money for a long time, thus helping me
effectually to get on. Receive my hearty thanks.....
....It
is a hard and difficult struggle to learn to draw well.
P 61
...It
would not be right if in drawing from nature I took up too many
details and overlooked the great things....
P 63
....I do
not stand helpless before nature any longer, as I used to do. Nature
always begins by resisting the artist, but he who really takes it
seriously does not allow himself to be led astray by that resistance:
on the contrary, it is a stimulus all the more to fight for victory.
At bottom nature and a true artist agree. But nature certainly is
'intangible'; yet one must seize it, and that with a strong hand. I
do not mean to say that I have reached that point already; no one
thinks it less that I do, but somewhow I get on better.
P 64 -- P 67 -- P 68
There is
something in my heart.
This
summer a deep love has grown in my heart for our cousin K., but when
I told her this she answereed me that to her past and future remained
one, so she could never return my feelings.
Then
there was a terrible indecision within me what to do. Should I accept
her 'No, never, never,' or should I keep some hope and not give up?
....
... My
position has become sharply outlined; I think I shall have the
greatest trouble with the elder persons, who consider the question as
settled and finished, ....
... He
who has not learned to say, 'She and no other, ' does he know what
love is?....
...Father
and Mother are good at heart but have little understanding of our
feelings. They love us with all their hearts, and I as well as you
love them very much indeed, but alas, practical advice they cannot
give us in many cases....
.... So,
man of business, there is a love story for you! Do you think it very
dull and
sentimental?
Since I
really love, their is more reality in my drawings, and I sit writing
to you now in the little room with quite a collection round me of
men, women, and children from the Heike.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
P
74
...I am
sorry to say there is still something harsh and severe in my
drawings, and I think that she, her influence, must come to soften
that. When I look around I see walls all covered with one subject:
'Brabant types.' So that is a work I have started, and if I were
taken suddenly out of these surroundings I should have to start anew
another thing and this one would remain half-finished! That may not
be! I have been working here since May; I begin to know and
understand my models, my work is progressing, but it has const me a
lot of trouble to get on so far.
........................................................................
Father
and mother are getting old, and I have their prejudices and
old-fashioned ideas. When Father sees me with a French book by
Michelet or Victor Hugo, he thinks of thieves and murderers, or of
'immorality,' but that is just too ridiculous. So often I have said
to Father, 'Just read, then if only a few pages from such a book and
you will be impressed by it yourself,' but Father obstinately refuses
to do so. I told him frankly that under the circumstances I attached
more value to the advice of Michelet than to his own, if I had to
choose which of the two I should follow.
I would
not miss Michelet for anything in the world. It is true the Bible is
eternal and everlasting, but Michelet gives me such very practical
and clear hints directly applicable to this hurried and feverish
modern life in which you and I find ourselves that he helps us to
make rapid progress and we cannot do without him. Michelet and
Harriet Beecher Stowe, they do not tell you the Gospel is of no value
any more, but they teach you how it may be applied in our time, in
this our life. Michelet even expresses things completely and aloud of
which the Gospels only whispers to us the germ.
P83 -- P86 --
...And,
dear me, those two old people went with me through the cold, foggy,
muddy streets, and they showed me, indeed, a very good and very cheap
inn.
And you
see there was something humane in that and it calmed me. I had other
talks with Uncle S., but K. I did not see once. I said that they
must well know, though they wished me to consider the question as
settled and finished, I for my part could not do so. And then they
firmly and steadily answered, 'I should learn to see that better
afterwards.'
We who
try our best to live, why do we not live more? I felt quiet and lorn
during those three days in Amsterdam; I felt absolutely miserable,
and that sort of kindness of Uncle and Aunt, and all those
discussions, it was all so dismal. Till at last I began to feel quite
depressed. And then I said to myself: You are not becoming
melancholy again, are you? And so, on a Sunday morning I went for the
last time to Uncle S. and said: 'Just listen, dear Uncle, if K. were
an angel, she would be too high for me, and I do not think I could
remain in love with the devil, I should not want to have anything to
do with her. In the present case I see in her a true woman with a
woman's passions and moods, and I love her dearly, and that is the
truth and I am glad of it.' And Uncle S. had not much to say in
reply, and muttered something about a woman's passions. I do not
remember well what he said about it, and then he went to church.
I felt
chilled through and through, as if I had been standing too long
against a cold hard whitewashed church wall. I did not want to be
stunned by that feeling. And --
it is
somewhat risky to be a realist, but Theo, oh, bear with me in my
realism. I told you that to some my secrets are no secrets. I do not
take that back, think of me what you will....
Then I
thought: I should like to see a woman; I cannot live without love,
without a woman. I would not give a farthing for life if there were
not something infinite, something deep, something real. But then I
said to myself: You said, 'She, and no other,' and you would go to
another woman now; that is unreasonable, that is against all logic.
And my answer to that was: Who is the master, the logic, or I? Is the
logic there for me, or am I there for the logic; and is there no
reason and no sense in my unreasonableness and lack of sense?
I am
almost thirty years old; should you think that I have never felt the
need of love? K. is still older than I am; she also has had
experience of love; but just for that reason I love her the better.
If she wants to live in that old love and refuses the new, that is
her business, and if she continues that and and evades me, I cannot
smother all my energy and all my strength of mind for her sake. No, I
cannot do that. I love her, but I shall not freeze or unnerve myself.
And the stimulus, the spark of fire we want, that is love, and not
exactly spiritual love. I am but a man and a man with passions; I
must go to a woman, or otherwise I freeze or turn to stone, or I am
stunned...that damned wall is too cold for me....
I had not
far to seek. I found a woman, not young, not beautiful. She was
rather tall and strongly built; she did not have ladies' hands like
K.'s, but the hands of one who works much; but she was not coarse or
common, and had something very womanly about her. She reminded me of
some curious figure by Chardin or Frère,
or perhaps Jan Steen. Well, what the French call 'une ouvrière.'
She had many cares, one could see that, and life had been hard for
her; oh, she was not extinguished, nothing extraordinary, nothing
unusual.
Theo, to
me there is such a wonderful charm in that slight fadedness, that
something over which life has passed. It is not for the first time
that I have been unable to resist that feeling of affection, ay,
affection and love for those women who are so damned and condemned
and despised from the pulpit.
That
woman has not cheated me -- he who regards all those women as cheats,
how wrong he is, and how little understanding does he show! That
woman has been very good go me, very good and very kind.
It was a
modest little room where she lived; the plain paper on the wall gave
it a quiet grey tone, yet warm as a picture by Chardin; a wooden
floor with a mat and a piece of old crimson carpet, an ordinary
kitchen stove, a chest of drawers, and a large simple bed. In short,
a room of a real working woman. She had to stand at the washtub the
next day. We talked about everything, about her life, about her
cares, about her misery, about her health, and with her I had a more
interesting conversation than with, for instance, with my very
learned, professor-like cousin.
P 86
Now, I
tell you these things hoping that you will see that, though I have
some sentiment, I do not want to be sentimental in a silly way, that
I want to keeps some vitality, and to keep my mind clear and my
health in good condition in order to be able to work.
The
clergymen call us sinnners, to need to love, not to be able to live
without love? I think life without love is a sinful condition and an
immoral condition. If I repent anything, it is of the time I was
induced by mystical and theological notions to lead too secluded a
life. Gradually I have thought better of that. When you wake up in
the morning and find yourself not alone, but see there in the morning
twighlight a fellow-creature beside you, it makes the world look more
friendly.
Often
when I walked the streets quite lonely and forlorn, half ill and in
misery, without money in my pocket, I looked after them and envied
the men that could go with them; and I felt as if those poor girls
were my sisters, in circumstances and experience. And you see that
it is an old feeling of mine, and is deeply rooted. Even as a boy, I
often looked up with infinite sympathy, and even with respect, into a
hlf-faded woman's face, on which was written, as it were: Life in all
its reality has left it's mark here.
That God
of the clergymen, He is for me as dead as a doornail. But am I an
atheist for all that? The clergymen consider me as such -- be it so;
but I love, and how could I not feel love if I did not live, and if
others did not live, and then, if we live, there is something
mysterious in that. Now call that God, or human nature or whatever
you like, but there is something which I cannot define
systemmatically, though it is very alive and real, and see, that is
God, or as good as God. To believe in God for me is to feel that
there is a God, not a dead one, or a stuffed one, but a living one,
who with iresistible force urges us towards 'aimer encore'; that is
my opinion.
So I have
acted as I did from a need of vital warmth. I tell you this also that
you may not again think of me as being in melancholy of abstract, or
brooding, mood. On the contrary, I am generally occupied with, and
not only thinking of, paint, water-color, and finding a studio.
P87
...P455-
In my
picture of the 'Night Café'
I have tried to express the idea that the café
is a place where on can ruin oneself, run mad, or commit a crime. I
have tried to express the terrible passions of humanity by means of
red and green. The room is blood-red and dark yellow, with a green
billiard table in the middle; there are four lemon-yellow lamps with
a glow of orange and green. Everywhere there is clash and contrast of
the most alien reds and greens in the figures of the little sleeping
hooligans in the empty dreay room, in violet and blue. The white coat
of the patron, on vigil in a corner, turns lemon-yellow, or
pale luminous green.
So I have
tried to express, as it were, the powers of darkness in a low
wine-shop, and all this in an atmosphere like a devil's furnace of
pale sulphur – all under the appearance of Japanese gaiety and the
good nature of Tartarin.
P459
I have
such joy in the house and in my work that I dare even to think that
the joy will not always be solitary, but that you too will have a
share in it and the zest of it too. My dear Theo, you will see the
cypresses and the oleanders herem and the sun – the day will come,
you may be sure.
….The
third is a portrait of myself, almost colourless, in grey
tones against a background of pale malachite. I had bought of set
purpose a mirror good enough for me to be able to work from myself in
default of a model; because if I can manage to paint the colouring of
my own head, which is not to be done without some difficulty I shall
likewise be able to paint the heads of other good souls, men and
women. So this week I have done absolutely nothing but paint and
sleep and take my meals. That means sittings of twelve hours, of six
hours, and then a sleep of twelve hours at a time....
P461
...This
garden has a fantastic character that makes you quite able to imagine
the poets of the Renaissance, Dante, Petrarch,strolling over the
flowery grass. It is the garden just in front of my house. And it
shows perfectly that to get to the real character of things here you
must look at tehm and paint them for a long time. Perhaps you will
see nothing from the sketych except that the line is very simple.
What I am
sure of is that to make a picture which will be really of the South,
it is not enough to have a certain cleverness. It is looking at
things for a long time that ripens you and gives you a deeper
understanding. If we study Japanese art, we see an artist who is
wise, philosophic, and intellitent, who spends his time – how? In
studying the distance between the earth and the moon? No. In studying
the policy of Bismarck? No. He studies a single blade of grass. ….
Come,
now, isn't it almost an actual religion which these simple Japanese
teach us, who live in nature as if they themselves were flowers? We
must return to nature in spite of our education and our work in a
world of convention. And you cannnot study Japanese art without
becoming gayer and happier.
I envy
the Japanese the extreme clearness which everything has in their
work. Their work is as simple as breathign, and they do a figure in
a few strokes, with ease. Oh! I must manage some day that in a few
strokes the figure of a man, a youngster, a horse, shall have head,
body, legs, all in keeping.
I have a
letter from Gauguin, who seems very unhappy and says that as soon as
he has sold something he will certainly come.....
...My own
little room is complete....I am also thinking of planging a few
oleanders in tubs in front of the door. ….
….P463
….That
does not prevent my having a terrible need of – shall I say the
word? – religion. That Benedictine father you tell of must have
been very intresting. I only wish they would manage to prove
something that would tranquillize and console us, so that we might
stop feeling guilty and wretched, and could go on just as we are
without losing ourselves in solitude and nothingness.
There is
a book of Tolstoi's called 'My Religion.' He does not believe in a
resurrection either of the body or the soul. Above all he seems not
to believe in a heaven – he reasons just as a nihilist reasons,
but he attaches great importance to doing whatever you are doing,
since probably it is al there is in you. And if he does not believe
in the resurrection, he seems to believe in the equivalent – the
continuance of life, the progres of humanity – … Himsef a
nobleman, he turned labourer, could make boots and frying pans, guide
the plough. I can do nothing of that, but I can respect a human soul
vigorous enough to mould itself anew.
...These
colours cause me extraordinary exaltation. I have no thought of
fatigue; I shall do another picture this very night, and I shall
bring it off. I have a terrrible lucidity at moments when nature is
so beautiful; I am not conscious of myself any more, and the pictures
come to me as in a dream. I can only let myself go these days that
are free from wind, especially as I think the work is getting better
than the last sent you.....
P502
I do not
know whether I shall write very often, because not all my days are
clear enough to write fairly logically.
All your
kindnesses to me, seemed greater than ever today. I assure you that
that kindness has been good metal, and if you do not see any results
from it, my dear brother, don't fret about that; your own goodness
abides.....
P511
Saint-Remy
...Though
there are some who howl and rave continually, in spite of that people
get to know each other very wel, and help each other when their
attacks come on. They sayy we must put up with others so that others
will put up with us; and between ourselves we understand each other
very well. I can, for instance, sometimes chat with one of them who
can only answer in incoherent sounds, because he is not afraid of me.
And it is the same with those whose mania is to fly into frequent
rages. The others interfere so that they do themselves no harm, and
separate the combatents, if combat there is.
...Indeed
the anguish and suffering are no joke once you are caught by an
attack....There is someone here who has been shouting and talking as
I do all the time for a fortnight; he thinks he hears voices
and words in the echoes of the corridors, probably because the nerves
of the ear are diseased and oversensitive; in my case it was sight
and hearing at once, which according to what Rey told me one day is
usual in the beginning of epilepsy. The shock was such that it
sickened me even to make a movement, and nothing would have pleased
me better than never to have wakened again. At present this horror
of life is less strong and the melancholy less acute. But from
that to will and action there is still some way to go.
It is
rather queer, perhaps, that as a result of this last terrible attack
there is hardly any very definite desire or hope left in my mind, and
I wonder if this is the way one thinks when, with the passions dying
out, one descends the hill instead of climbing it. Of will I have
none, and of everything belonging to ordinary life; the desire, for
instance, to see my friends, although I keep thinking about them, I
have almost none of. ….
….Yet
what a lovely country, and what lovely bue, and what a sun!
P513
...It is
only too doubtful whether painting has any beauty or use. But what is
to be done? There are people who love nature even though they are
cracked or ill; those are the painters. Then there are those who like
what is made by man's hands, and these even go as far as to like
pictures....
...Yesterday
I drew a very big, rather rare night moth called the death's head,
its colouring of amazing distinction, black, grey, cloudy white
tinged with carmine, or shading indistinctly to olive-green; it is
very big. To paint it I had to kill it, and it was a pity, the insect
was so beautiful.
P544
I have
worked on a study of the mad wardat the Arles Hospital, but having
had no more canvas these last days, I have been taking long walks in
all directions across the country...
How
beautiful Millet is, 'The First Steps of a Child'!
...I have
worked this month in the olive groves because Bernard and Gauguin
have maddened me with their 'Christs in the Garden,' with nothing
really observed. Of course with me there is no question of doing
anything from the Bible – and I have written to Bernard and Gauguin
too that I considered that to think, not to dream, was our duty, so
that I was astonished to see from their work how they had let
themselves go....it gives me a painful feeling of collapse instead of
progress.
...What
I have done is a rather hard and coarse reality beside Bernard's and
Guaguin's abstractions, but it will give a sense of country and will
smell of the soil. The thing is that they have never really been
painted, the olive and the cypress....
These
days we had rather bad weather, but today was a real day of spring;
the fields of young corn, with violet hills in the distance, are so
beautiful, and the almond trees are starting to bloom everywhere.
I feel at
times very much cheered up by it. Moreover, you write me today that
you have sold one of my pictures in Brussels for four hundred francs.
Compared....this is little, but I shall try to be productive....
P557
It would
be best at least to go and see this Doctor Gachet in the country as
soon as possible...,and since he likes painting, there is really a
chance that a lasting friendship
will
result...My surroundings begin to weigh on me....
P558
…...I
have just finished another canvas of pink roses against a
yellow-green background in which the effect is soft and harmonious
because of the combinations of greens, pinks, violets. In the other
the the violet bunch stands out against a startling lemon-yellow
background, with other yellow tones on the vase and the stand on
which it rests, so it is an effect of tremendously unlike
complementaries which heighten each other.
..[previously
in Paris] I felt strong enough – I wish very much to do at once the
picture of a yellow book shop which I have had for so long in my
mind. You will see that the day after my arrival I shall be fit for
it....
I am
looking forward so much to seeing the exhibition of Japanese prints
again...
A strange
thing: just as these that day you were so struck by Seurat's
canvases, these last days are like a fresh revelation of colour to
me. As to my work, my dear brother, I feel more confidant....
--- O, if
I could have worked without this accursed malady*
P571
There –
once back here I set to work again – though the brush almost
slipped from my fingers; and knowing exactly what I wanted, I have
since painted three more big canvases. They are vast stretches of
corn under troubled skies, and I did not need to go out of my way to
express sadness and the extremity of loneliness.....I hope you will
see them soon.....Just for one's health it is very necessary to work
in the garden and see the flowers growing.
...I am
now absorbed by the immeasurable plain with cornfields against the
hills, immense as a sea, delicate yellow, delicate soft green,
delicate violet of a ploughted and weeded piece of soil, regularly
chequered by the green of flowering potato plants, everything under a
sky with delicate blue, white, pink, violet tones.
I am in a
mood of nearly too great calmness, in the mood to paint this.
I should
rather like to write to you about a lot of things, but to begin with,
the desire to do it has left me completely, and again I feel it is
useless.
I still
love art and life very much, but as for ever having a wife of my own,
I have no great faith in that....
[My
father was also an artist, and was tormented by what I know not, but
I suspect a deep loneliness arose due perhaps to his mother's death
in his teens and perhaps his father's rather authoritarian ways
(although I know very little about my paternal grandfather who lived
mostly and died in London. But father and son did not get on...My
father gave he said, most of his paintings away as presents and at
one exhibition of water colours R. A. K. Mason bought some of his
art. He liked Mason's poetry. Fairburn expresed that he wished he
could paint or draw like that. My father said he wished he could
write as well as Fairburn and encouraged him to paint. I belive this
may have partly inspired Fairburn thus to try his hand. But my father
eventually abandoned art. 'I felt depressed during The Depression' he
said. He took a job as an architect after going from being a fitter's
mate to getting a degree in Architecture. Like Van Gogh he loved
Japanese prints, of which one at least that he copied, a beautiful
thing, is still in this house (Panmure, Court Crescent).....Thus he
about 1941:
I
really think loneliness is the worst of all human afflictions. I am
alone here
every
night after 9 pm, the family are early to bedders – and I sit alone
with my
books
and think of this long war and all the lonely women throughout the
world
and the men in camps and holes in the ground tormented
with hunger for women. ]
P571
I am – at least I feel – too old to go back on my
steps, or to desire anything different. That desire has left me,
though the mental suffering from it remains...I know nothing,
absolutely nothing as to what turn this may take. As for what
concerns me, I apply myself to my canvases with all my mind....
...I have a new study of some old thatched roofs, and
two canvases representing vast stretches of corn after the rain....we
can only make our pictures speak.
Yet, my dear brother, there is this that I have always
told you – … – I tell you again that I shall always consider
that you are other than a simple dealer in Corots, that through my
mediation you have your part in the actual production of some
canvases, which even in the deluge will retain their peace.
...Well my own work, I am risking my life for it and my
reason has half-foundered. That's all right – but you are not among
the dealers in men. You can still chooseyour side, acting with
humanity, but what's the use? With a
handshake in thought.
July
27, 1880. VINCENT
*Van Gogh
was not mad at all, he suffered from epilepsy, which meant that bouts
of these attacks interrupted his work leaving him ennervated and
sometimes in despair. But whenever he worked he was accutely
rational, aware, and constantly trying to create and also always to
improve his drawing skill, his art, and to try to make money. His
brother Leo supported him and sold some of his works. He was a deeply
lonely man then so have I been most of my life. This does not mean
madness. To be sad, to be lonely, to be intense is not to be mad or
irrational. And Van Gogh was never irratinal he had a deep
sensitivity to the world and to people. He was deeply concerned for
his brother and his wife and their parents and for others he met.
Even near the end of his life he felt no rancour towards Van Gogh.
His criticisms of art ar of the art, not of the people. He was not,
thank god, a socialite life such as say Gore Vidal...and others. [In
another book on the eye and art it seems that Dr. Gachet felt Van
Gogh suffered from swings of mood....but if someone is sensitive,
struggles with art and the depiction of nature – to realise it by
intensifying it and to avoid what he called Gauguin and others'
“abstractions” – struggling to capture things as they are or in
some deep way uknown quite to the artist, the essence of things (The
'quiditas' of St. Thomas Aquinas or that of Aristotle, and not per se
Plato's idea of Ideal forms of things etc: or Kant's 'noumenom'
etc...even Wordsworth's sense of a god of some sort 'interfused in
the light of setting suns' and indeed the ideas of Spinoza or the
investigations of scientists trying to 'see' reality: but never
getting there: they only ever describing, failing to get via logic as
Russell and others (Wittgenstein, Deacartes, Spinoza, Derrida, (but
perhaps more Levinas and Heidegger who invokes Rilke, Trakl and Van
Gogh) etc, even Popper struggled to do, as Bergson or Cantor, or Mach
or Rothko, and many others...he failed but his struggle toward this
deep mystery always urged him on...)...these all failed as I echo
here but this is the direction they are impelled on.
And he
was deeply lonely, deeply sensitive: and always wanted love, deep
love. The most of which perhaps he got from his brother and his wife.
He loved his fellow patients, the doctors, a postman, and others. He
loved the world, while knowing its menace, its mystery: death and
despair written into the crevices of the great world..Caravaggio's
just starting to rot fruit, Rembrandt's unremitting 'reality', Goya's
illnesses and his dark nightmares of reality and irreality...And Van
Gogh read quite widely.
…...............................................................................................................................____________________________________________________________
Bertrand Russell. Mathematician, Philosopher & Logician
and like Te Whiti and other Maori, a passive resister to war.
He refused to fight in the horrific WWI and WWII and wrote
against the Vietnam war and the accompanying US Atrocities.
He admired Cantor who developed set theory to analyze Infinity
and countable and uncountable infinities.
Russell had a long life with many events and affairs, wrote books
on many subjects. He was a good friend of Joseph Conrad.
Bertrand
Russell's Autobiography
................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................
An event of importance to me in 1913 was the beginning
of my friendship with Joseph Conrad, which I owed to our common
friendship with Ottoline (lady Ottoline with whom Russell had a quite
passionate but complex affair as described in Vol I of his
Autobiography). I had been for many years an admirer of his books...I
travelled down to his house in Kent in a state of somewhat anxious
expectation. My first impression was one of surprise. He spoke
English with a very strong foreign accent, and nothing in his
demeanour in any way suggested the sea. He was an aristocratic Polish
gentleman to the fingertips. His feeling for the sea, and for
England, was one of romantic love – love from a certain distant
sufficient to leave the romance untarnished. His love for the sea
began at a very early age. When he told his parents he wished a
carreer as a sailor, they urged him to go into the Austrian navy, but
he wanted adventure and tropical seas and strange rivers surrounded
by dark forests; and the Austrian navy offered him no scope for these
desires. His family were horrified at his seeking a carreer in the
English merchant marine, but his determination was inflexible.
...He
and I were in most of our opinions in no way in agreement, but in
something very fundamental we were extraordinarily at one.
My
relation with Conrad was unlike any other I have ever had. I saw him
seldom, and not over a long period of years. In the out-works of our
lives we were almost strangers, but we shared a certain outlook on
human life and human destiny, which, from the very first, made a bond
of extreme strength...
…..................................................................................
Of
all that he had written I admired most the terrible story called The
Heart of Darkness, in which a rather weak idealist is driven mad by
horror of the tropical forest and loneliness among savages. This
story expresses, I think, most completely his philosophy of life. I
felt, though I do not know whether he would have accepted such an
image, that he thought of civilized and morally tolerable human life
as a dangerous walk on a thin crust of barely cooled lava which at
any moment might break and let the unwary sink into fiery depths. He
was very conscious of the various forms of passionate madness to
which men are prone, and it was this which gave him such a profound
belief in the importance of discipline. His point of view, one might
say, was the antithesis of Rousseau's: 'Man is born in chains, but he
can become free.' He becomes free, I believe Conrad would have said,
not by letting loose his impulses, not by being casual and
uncontrolled, but by subduing wayward impulse to dominant purpose.
[Conrad's
rather reactionary hatred of Russia ('both the Czarist and the
Revolutionary') and Dostoevsky, Tolstoy et al as well as his love of
England (except Turgenev) Russell felt were expressed in The
Secret Agent and in Under Western Eyes but this seems a
misinterpretation of at least The Secret Agent which is one of
the great novels. It is a satire also of 'powers' and 'the great
game' and it is a tragi-comedy where the 'powers' urge the secret
agent to blow up time itself! This is brilliant but flawed by those
powes (possibly those in the Austro-Hungarian Empire but also
anywhere). The idea is that the death of humans wont incite the
people to rebel. And it is them 'the powers' want to riot or rebel
somewhat like the Russians, mainly so the British can have and excuse
to impose more severe resstrictions etc upon them. Whatever power
Conrad transcends that and the figure of the secret agents son in
law, his wife's daughter, enraged by the motley group of “anarchists”
and would be or actual “revolutionaries” when he hears talk of
killing. This gentle being could have also been portrayed by
Dostoevsky (whose project in this regard is almost as brilliant and
subtle in Crime and Punishment); and it is he who the agent
gets to help place the bomb at Greenwich. The boy is blown into
pieces. The powers in England in touch with powers elsewhere,
restrict the investigation. Conrad writes the masterpiece that
Dickens almost managed in all his works (or he managed works of
genius but evaded the killer thrust perhaps?): in any case The Secret
Agent is, like Heart of Darkness, and The Nigger of the Narcissus
(the sea storm is so beautifully described!! “Nigger” by the way
is necessary. As soon as he comes on board the ship he says: “this
is my ship” and from then on his otherness drives the entire story
until his death when the becalmed ship, released as was the ship in
Coleridge's TheRhyme of the Ancient Mariner, makes its way
home... (and Nostromo which I read as a teenager so missed its
great significance, but I believe that is considered by many to be
Conrad's greatest work...) … but there is no question of Russell's
great writing in this, his first Volume of his Autobiography)]
….[Russell
continues]: ...what [mainly] interested him was the human soul faced
with the indifference of nature, and often with the hostility of man,
and subject to inner struggles with passions both good and bad that
led towards destruction. Tragedies of loneliness occupied a great
part of his though and feeling. One of his typical stories is
Typhoon. In this
story, the Captain, who is a simple soul, pulls his ship through by
unshakeable courage and grim determination, When the storm is over,
he writes a long letter to his wife, telling about it. In his
account, his own part is, to him, fairly simple. He has merely
performed his Captain's duty as, of course, anyone would expect. But
the reader, through his narrative, becomes aware of all that he has
done and dared and endured. The letter, before he sends it off, is
read surreptitiously by his steward, but is never read by anyone else
at all because his wife finds it boring and throws it away unread.
The two things that seem most ot occupy Conrad's
imagination are loneliness and the fear of what is strange. An
Outcast of the Islands like The Heart of Darkness is concerned with
the fear of what is strange. Both come together in the
extraordinarily moving story Amy Foster. In this story a South-Slav
peasant, on his way to America, is the sole survivor of the wreck of
his ship, and is cast away in a Kentish village. All the village
fears and ill-treats him, except Amy Foster, a dull, plain girl who
brings him bread when he is starving and finally marries him. But
she, too, when in fever, he reverts to his native language, is seized
with a fear of strangeness, snatches up their child and abandons him.
He dies alone and hopeless. I have wondered at times how much of this
man's loneliness Conrad had felt among the English and had supressed
with a stern effort of will.
Conrad's point of view was far from modern [Russell
he sets Rousseau's 'enlightened' humane view, sans discipline of
children etc, against the other more 'authoritarian' view of
discipline. But]: Conrad adhered to the older tradition, that
discipline should come from within. He despised indiscipline, and
hated discipline that was merely external.
In
all this I found myself closely in agreement with him. At our very
first meeting, we talked with continually increasing intimacy. We
seemed to sink through layer after layer of what was superficial,
till gradually both reached the central fire. It was an experence
unike any other I have known. We looked into each other's eyes, half
appalled and half intoxicated to find ourselves together in such a
region. The emotion was as intense as passionate love, and at the
same time all-embracing. I came away bewildered, and at the same time
unable to find my way among ordinary affairs............
….This letter was my last contact with
him....Conrad['s].....intense and passionate intensity shines in my
memory like a star seen from the bottom of a well. I wish I could
make his light shine for others as it shone for me....
Joseph Conrad - great writer of 'The Heart of Darkness', 'The Secret Agent', 'Nostromo' and many sea stories and stories of early colonial adventures and tragedies.
It is well worth reading Russell's description of Conrad's work. He and Russell were quite close friends.
The 'Nigger of the Narcissus' is one of the great stories and includes a storm
which is magnificently described. These stories in 'The Typhoon' and the very
moving 'Amy Foster'.
Joseph Conrad - great writer of 'The Heart of Darkness', 'The Secret Agent', 'Nostromo' and many sea stories and stories of early colonial adventures and tragedies.
It is well worth reading Russell's description of Conrad's work. He and Russell were quite close friends.
The 'Nigger of the Narcissus' is one of the great stories and includes a storm
which is magnificently described. These stories in 'The Typhoon' and the very
moving 'Amy Foster'.
The students, however, as I said before, were
admirable. I had a post-graduate class of twelve, who used to come to
tea with me once a week.One of them was T. S. Eliot,
who subsequently wrote a poem about it, called 'Mr
Appolinx'. I did not know at the time that Eliot wrote poetry. He
had, I think, already written 'A Portrait of a Lady', and 'Prufrock',
but he did not see fit to mention the fact. He was extraordinarily
silent,
and only once made a remark which struck me. I was
praising Heraclitus, and he ob-
served: 'Yes, he always reminds me of Villon.' I thought
this remark so good that I always wished he would make another.....
The great American poet T S Eliot who was once in
a philosophy class held by Russell. Eliot is here with
his first wife Vivien. He was in England so long he
was de facto English as almost was his friend Pound.
The great American poet T S Eliot who was once in
a philosophy class held by Russell. Eliot is here with
his first wife Vivien. He was in England so long he
was de facto English as almost was his friend Pound.
..................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................
A
baby emits a cry of life on being thrust into a cold, bright
world.
Gone is the dark warmth of the mother's womb.
The umbilical cord is severed and closed off.
Gone is the dark warmth of the mother's womb.
The umbilical cord is severed and closed off.
.........................................................................................................................................
We Live
In
Calculating time by time and dividing
by time
these things of
lament fall upon us as dark green quilts on aged men
where women wail. Forever fingers of
the living root down to grip.
To disappear into the sands. As in
Scott of Lammermoor .
'The quicksanded cities.' as I
wrote, using the image of man and horse plunging. To disappear. And the vents
of fury among the loud mountains: Why have we not passaged here?
We have something to teach, to say.
We could treat time
like Cantor's Alephs, and find that
time by time yields
time only, and time times time is
Aleph time.
'We are lost in gelid time. We are
the fools of time. Time was.'
What to teach? They wait. The shadows
grow. Man's, in history.
Of Emerson, though, we have little.
As said. What sounds?
What do you mean? Is it known? Know
thou? Sit by the fire.
At the camp fire – much mad truth.
Old woes.
Things keep living in this old chaos,
under the sun, of the.
How can we evaluate? Ejaculate,
expatiate: things leap.
The undulant
ambiguations, you know
them, they descend. How much
redundancy adds to the immensity
of rock giants? Who sang? Who
yes-noed?
The parade begins. She holds my hand.
We had purpose, if fear,
but we lived, took positions. We were
on the line.
Why did I not seize her? Where is
she? Time is gone, passed
as if it had not begun, except in
dream. Was we dream?
Then they found me, and the machines.
These proliferate:
everywhere there is a clicking of
meanings. God is knitting.
Messages are inserted or race into
the totality of
completed futility. Click click clack
smack smack smack.
Where is the end? Le be be finale.
Let seem be icecream
in an ice dream. But what of
mentioned the wires?
The wires keep creeping, like wires,
wirely. Nervous, nervous nerves.
All things begin pump. Things flow
every where. Fire.
Decent ones stay away. Wary, they
creep down town.
Even old people. I remain old with
severe thoughts
marked. My wise saws. My instances. I
remain
not a youthful age but stay severely
as I am.
It is a writhing living thing, a mass
mountain impossible to be
man or women however born: see it, it
is awash with
configurations and gibbering mirrors:
it is afire with
language whose excess and whose
excessive excess
bursts instantly into endless flame.
These birds
fight each other to death, the poem
grows in monstrousness
never before felt, imagined, and it
always wriggles away.
Then in the language
inferno they found me, and the machines
had proliferate:
everywhere nowhere there is a clicking of
insane meanings.
Messages race into the totality of computed
and purple futility.
Where is the end if not the linkage?
The wires smile with
sarc sparks, and continue creeping, like wires.
Decent people stay
clear. They never knock or ring. Wary, they creep
down town, possibly on
Broadway. Even old people. I remain old with
severe thoughts marked.
My sore wise saws. My instant instances:
You wanted it though?
Eh? Didn't ya want it? I remain
not a youthful age but
stay severely. I am what.
I always wanted to make
chemical music but my career path
led me into pornography
and all those asms and cosmic chasms
that they all plunge
in. The point, we seek it. We are. A thing shudders.
Material mystery,
extass. They – right now – gathered discovering
the mark and the why
questions or significations re-reading Browning
or
It was NOW
everything is
answer
like
a water blob.
Bulb
sets tremble
questions
on a leaf
maybe
of broccoli.
(Ecstatic
moon,
and
the coming bloom
of
the young year
that
cools the finger’s fever
wakes
rath: )
sparkins
fire flame snake
in
which syzegistic
congnaced
cunt rage
red
as arse fire
rapid
irreducible
to
the dead agonal
horse
mountain
unvoicing
her shitting
germaniac treblinking
to cant. write cant write
cat
bitch - scream in a pyx -
lacerating
the bloody lace
and
engines light to BE ,
‘till
pump is all:
and
a, a, a - a sleepy shiver
ecstatics
all objects
that
are subjects
red
nasalic narcosis in
nasalised
redlic
sketched
out
in
a nightmare as of
a
thousand fucking bastards
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
.I do wish the beastly old war could stop
.I do wish the beastly old war could stop
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Letters and things in Bertrand Russell's Autobiography
The Mischeief Inn
The Mischeief Inn
Madingly Road
26. VIII. 11
Dear
Russell
I
send you all I can find of the notes Frege sent me on my account of
his work.
Hardy told me of your translation into sybolism of
the Deceased Wife's Sister Bill.
If you have time would you send it to me to include in
the 'Philosophy of Mr B –
R – ' Also Hardy told me of your proof of the
existence of God by an infinite complex
of false propositions. May
I have this too?
Yrs. ever
Philip Jourdain
[Russell's notes on this
letter show that he appreciated the humour. Jourdain was quite
brilliant but died young due to the effects of Freidrich's ataxia
which is a rare genetic disorder almost always fatal over a
relatively short time of life.]
..................................................................................................................................
..................................................................................................
Georg Cantor, the subject of the following letter, was, in my opinion, one of the greatest intellects of the nineteenth century. ZTHe controversy with Poincaré which he mentions is still (1949) raging, though the original protagonists are long since dead. After reading the following letter, no one will be surprised to learn that he spent a large part of his life in a lunatic asylum, but his lucid intervals were devoted to creating the theory of infinite numbers. [This is still all disputed by mathematicians but there is still no concord on the subject. Cantor used sets and his Diagonal Proof (which Wittgenstein doesn't “disprove” but feels, it seems, in his Groundwork to Mathematics, that it has flaws and is not kind of 'the right question' as it cant really be stated as a positive proposition. The “rage” about Cantor's theory of infinite sets, countable infinity etc, continues: but it is probably not of interest to most mathematicians or philosophers. But it is fascinating and can be studied in books “for the average person” with little or no maths, such as those by J D Barrow and others. Cantor and his ideas have fascinated me for some time.]
75
Victoria Street
S.W.
16/
9. 11
Dear Mr Russell
By accident I met
to-day Professor Georg Cantor, professor of Mathematics at Halle
University, and his chief wish during his stay in England is to meet
you and talk about your books. He was overcome with pleasure when he
learnt on talking of Cambridge that I knew you a little – you must
forgive my boasting of my acquaintance with an English 'Mathematiker'
and I had to promise I would try to find out if he could see you. He
proposes to visit Cambridge on Tuesday and Oxford on Thursday, and
meanwhile is staying for a week at 62 Nevern Square, South
Kensington.
It was a great pleasure
to meet him though if you are kind enough to see him you will
sympathize with my feeling worn out with nearly four hours of
conversation. He was like a fog horn discoursing on mathematics –
to me! – and the Bacon Theory.
Could you send a line
to him or to me at Woodgate, Danehill, Sussex. He is Geheimrath and
so forth. I could relate his entire family history to you!
Yours sincerely
and with many apologies
Margery I.
Corbett Ashby
[Part of a letter from
Cantor three days later.]
…..................................................................
As for myself you do
know perhaps, I am a great heretic upon many scientific, but also in
many literary matters, as to pronounce but two of them, I am a
Baconian in the Bacon-Shakespeare question, and I am quite an
adversary of Old Kant, who, in my eyes has done much more harm
and mischief to philosophy, even to mankind; as you can easily see by
the most perverted development of metaphysics in Germany in all that
followed him, as in Fichte, Schelling, Hegel, Heibart, Schopenhauer,
Hartmann, Nietzsche etc. etc.. on to this very day. I never could
understand why such reasonable and enobled peoples as the Italiens,
the English, and the French are, could follow yonder sophistical
philistine, who was so bad a mathematician.
And now it is in just
this abominable mummy, as Kant is, Monsieur Poincaré
felt quite enamoured, if he is not bewitched by him. So I
understand quite well the opposition of Mons. Poincaré,
by which I felt myself honoured, though he never had in mind to
honour me, as I am sure.....
...I think he is about
ten years younger than I am, but I have learned to wait in all things
and I forsee more clearly, that in the quarrell, I will not be
succumbent.
But I feel no forcing
to enter myself in the battle; others with him precipitate and I
allowed him to do with greater and more important things. As for
little differences between you and me, I am sure, that they will
disappear soon after an oral discourse.
…................... …..and
so I am,
Sir,
Your very
faithfull.
Georg Cantor
......................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................
MY
HEART ALMOST STOOD STILL
Hellen
Keller to the New York
Symphony
Orchestra
February
2nd, 1924
On
the evening of February 1st 1924, The New York Symphony Orchestra,
conducted by Walter Damrosch, played Beethoven's Symphony No. 9
to a packed Carnegie Hall, one of the most famous and prestigious
concert halls in the world. Many who
wanted
to attend, couldn't; fortunately, the performance was broadcast live
on the radio. A couple of days later, with talk of the show still on
the lips of many, the orchestra received a stunning letter of thanks
from the unlikliest of sources. The letter
was
written by Helen Keller, a renowned author and activist, who, despite
having been deaf and blind from a young age, had managed to "hear"
the music through touch alone.
_____________________________________________________________
93
Seminole Avenue,
Forest Hills L . I.,
February 2, 1924.
The
New York Symphony Orchestra,
New
York City.
Dear
Friends
I
have the joy of being able to tell you that, though deaf and blind, I
spent a
glorious
hour last night listening over the radio to Beethoven's "Ninth
Symphony."
I
do not mean to say that I "heard" the music in the sense
that other people heard it;
and
I do not know if I can make you understand how it was possible for me
to
derive
pleasure from the symphony. It was a great surprise to myself. I had
been
reading
in my magazine for the blind that the radio had brought happiness to
the
sightless
everywhere. I was delighted to know that the blind had gained a new
sense
of enjoyment; but I did not dream that I could have any part in their
joy. Last
night,
when our family was listening to the wonderful rendering of the
immortal
symphony,
someone suggested that I put my hand on the receiver and see if I
could
get
any of the vibrations. He unscrewed the cap, and lightly touched the
sensitive
diaphragm.
What was my amazment to discover that I could feel, not only the
vibrations,
but the impassioned rhythm, the throb and urge of the music! The
inter-
twined
and intermingling vibrations from different instruments enchanted me.
I
could
actually distinguish the cornets, the roll of drums, the deep-toned
violas and,
and
violins singing in exquisite unison. How the lovely speech from the
violins
flowed
and plowed over the deepest tones of the other instruments! When the
hum-
an
voice leaped up trilling from the surge of harmony, I recognized them
instantly
as
voices. I felt the chorus grow more exultant, more ecstatic,
upcurving swift and
flame-like
till my heart almost stood still. The women's voices seemed seemed
an
embodiment
of all the angelic voices rushing in a harmonious flood of beautiful
and
inspiring sound. The great chorus throbbed against my fingers with
poignant
poise
and flow. Then all the instruments and voices together burst forth
--an ocean
of
heavenly vibration --and died away like the winds when the atom is
spent,
ending
in a delicate shower of sweet notes.
Of
course, this was not "hearing" but I do know that the tones
and harm-
onies
conveyed to me moods of great beauty and majesty. I also sensed, or
thought
I
did, the tender sounds of nature that sing into my hand-- swaying
reeds and winds
and
the murmer of streams. I had never been so enraptured before by a
multitude
of
tone-vibrations.
As
I listened, with darkness and melody, shadow and sound, filling the
room,
I could not but help remember that the great composer who poured
forth
such
a flood of sweetness into the world was deaf like myself. I marveled
at the
power
of his quenchless spirit by which out of his pain he wrought such joy
for
others
--and there I sat, feeling with my hand the magnificent symphony
which
broke
like a sea upon the silent shores of his soul and mine.
Let
me thank you warmly for all the delight which your beautiful music
has
brought to my household and to me. I want also to thank Station WEAF
for
the
joy they are broadcasting in the world.
With
kindest regards and best wishes, I am,
Sincerely
yours,
[signed]
HELEN
KELLER
…...............................................................................................................................
My news of Joy is great today
My news of Joy is great today
..................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................
A
baby emits a cry of life on being thrust into a cold, bright
world.
Gone is the dark warmth of the mother's womb.
The umbilical cord is severed and closed off.
Gone is the dark warmth of the mother's womb.
The umbilical cord is severed and closed off.
.........................................................................................................................................….....................................................................................................................................
....................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................
MEMOIRS OF MY MOTHER
The MEMOIRS of my mother,
Joy Taylor, born in 1917 in Northamtonshire, England, brought up in
Australia, Banaba (Ocean) Island, England and Melbourne of Australia.
Her mother was Beatrice Gray, who became Beatrice (Beatty Miller) on
marriage to my grandfather, Captain John Robert Miller.. On that side
there was a Joy hence her first name.
N.B. Details of Miller
family in Family Tree compiled by Frank Miller [and John Gray who
started with the Gray family.]
My Grandfather Miller,
Robert Miller, had six brothers: James, George, Benjamen, and one
sister, Esther. I do not know their order, in age, nor where they
lived or were born [some details in the Miller-Gray family tree].
Believe it to be Northamptonshire or Huntingdonshire – Midlands
anyway.
I believe James and
George went to London eventually but am vague about their occupations
or whether they married or had families. John settled in Kettering &
owned and operated a mineral water factory, co partner with [one of
the] a Child's.
John married Ruth
Childs, sister of Alf & they had no children.
I well remember
Benjamin. He started in the printing business but when we were
children was Editor of the Times of India (in Calcutta). He came to
England in various “long leaves” & visited us then. He always
had gifts for my brother & I, & sent lovely books at Xmas.
“Uncle Ben” (though really Great-Uncle seemed a gentle man, very
brown from the tropical sun – and by no means handsome – but very
interesting to us all.
My Grandfather Robert
became an engine driver on the L.M.S. (London, North Eastern
Railways) [this crossed out]. He married Elizabeth Gale Childs, my
grandmother, who was the sister of Ruth (John's wife). They moved to
various cities to suit his work. Their eldest child, Maud Ruth, was
born in Nottingham, my father John Robert, was born in Leicester. The
other children of the marriage were Gertrude, Frank, & Mary Ann,
known as Polly.
My father was born in
1883 & diseases were rife in those days, especially TB or its
various forms, & fevers – Scarlet fever, Diptheria, Typhoid
etc. My grandfather, Robert died of typhoid fever about 1897.
My father had started
at a science /engineering school at Rugby but at about 14 had to
leave & go to work. Grandmother worked as a matron at a poor old
peoples home at Cambridge. Here eldest daughter, Maud, at 16 started
as a pupil/teacher – at Kettering Primary School. The two youngest
of the family, Frank and Polly were adopted by Ruth and John.
Gertrude, I belive, did some nursing. [I remember my mother telling
me she had received letters from her Auntie Maud and Gertrude. They
sent me 10 shillings from time to time and it was banked. Now I
realise more about these people I am more grateful and thoughtful of
them all. R.T. 2019]
My father also
contracted typhoid at about 13 or 14. Luckily he recoveredm though he
blamed his being shorter than most of the Miller men on that illness
in his growing years.
Father (known to family
& friends as Jack) had to leave Rugby Secondary School on the
death of his father and find work. He had work at a sewing machine
factory, and also – in the Railways Telegraph Office – so learnt
a few skills – on his way to eventually becoming a builder &
carpenter [with some machine and engineering skills, and he read
quite widely in his life, I recall the books he had. One The Titan
fascinated me (as military, wars, and the idea of power fascinated me
as a boy of 10 or so). He also gave me a collection of Russian
stories which I have read (at the time I said, but I am too young,
but he said: “You will be able to read them when you are older.”
He was right, and I still do. But also his copy of Pasternak's 'Dr
Zhivago fascinated me. All those books seemed deeply significanct and
mysterious to me as were what my father and he talked of. I used to
listen to he and my father talk wondering when I would understand the
mysterious things of engineering and of grown men's talk...But this
was when he and my grandmother had retired to Cheltenham Road in
Devonport.].
He came to New Zealand
at the age of 21 [1904] & joined his friend Cath Adams working as
a builder for Cath's father C. Adams senior. Working mostly in
Tauranga, & Waihi was then a thriving Gold mining town. At some
stage also he worked in Auckland also as a builder. Then he went to
Australia – visiting some relatives in the Hunter River Valley
N.S.W., & eventually joined the British Phosphate Commission
(Melbourne) as a builder / carpenter for Ocean Island [Banaba], in
1908 aged 24 or 25.
Then in 1915 Jack left
the Island to enlist in the armed forces & chose to join with his
friend Cath Adams in the N.Z. Rifle Brigade.
From Sydney he had
written a proposal of marriage to my Mother. They had met &
become friendly during his long leave from the Island, & they
married on August 26th , 1916 during army leave.
My mother was Beatrice
Amy Gray. (Details of the Gray family are on a family tree compiled
by John Gray, Sidney.)
Mother and her younger
sister Bara lived together in Bedford while their menfolk were away
at war; Bara already had a small boy, Alan. I was born on the 29th
May 1917, and 6 weeks later Bara's second son Derek arrived.
My grandfather Gray
died about the time of my mother's marriage. He had retired from his
army life with the Royal Welsh Fusiliers. He had married in Indiea &
they [his wife was Emma Jane Joy and his name was b. 9th
March 1851, died 29 August 1916. Lived mainly India and Bedford.] had
13 children while there [in India]. Some died very young and 7
survived to adulthood. I was called after my grandmother Gray – her
maiden name was Joy, & she was Emma Jane Joy, so I got the Joy.
When the war was over
father had to return to New Zealand for his army discharge.Then our
family proceeded to Sydney, & Newcastle, where we boarded ship
for Ocean Island. I was about 20 months old then.
Childhood on a tropical
island was a delightful time – ther are only pdd flashes of memory
of the very young years. I played in the beach behind the house –
we (other children & I) hunted for lizard eggs. The lizards
seemed to choose the curled mid point of dead palm leaves which
litter the ground under the palms. When we found the tiny eggs we
broke the heavy one to see the babies streak away to hide. Cruel: we
also broke some which were not ready!
Earlier I had a wooden
horse on wheels (made by my father) & used to make a mixture of
coloured flower petals in soggy water to feed it. There were one or
two boys about my age and we got up to mischief. My worst crime was
pulling upa young palm tree to eat the centre – so delicious –
Millionnaire Salad. All the palms belonged to the Banabans & that
particular owner came to my father with his complaint and Dad had to
pay for the tree. I will not forget how angry he was with me! My
brother Frank arrived on 28th of November 1921. We only
had tinned milk so with a wweaned baby my father got some goats and
he was fed on goats milk for quite a while.
A little kid arrived
and that was my pet – I loved him but he disappeared – I expect
they sold him. I also had kittens from time to time. When Frank
arrived they got a Banaban lady Oreba to look afer him (both of us).
She was a dear & we all loved her. When they went to Sydney on
leave Oreba went too. But she was not happy at all! – Too cold and
she had to wear large shoes. So did we and [also] hated it! Mother
made us some flat shoes to arrive in.
The Banabans were
divided into 4 villages: Ooma – & near Ooma were all the
phosphate driers [?], the machine & the carpentary shop [looking
at a recent YouTube by some Ham Radio enthusiasts, who visited Banaba
about 2015 I think, [2019] all those including the Power Plant, the
machine and carpentary shop, a hospital (possibly the one mum
mentions in this memoir), and a dentists, are in a state of
destruction and decay: it is a kind of tragic scene, dark & eerie
with only 300 Banabans there. Desolate with all the activity and life
gone. And of course the lives of the Banaban people radically changed
if not destroyed. Despite this they seem an amazing people. Mostly
they are quite healthy looking and often happy, but most now live on
an Island near Fiji. Operations stopped I think about 1989 or so.].
….
[To
continue.]...carpentry and machine shop, offices, stores, and up the
hill a way houses for the white workers, mostly Australians. Yabwebwa
was near where we lived – the village a little way further inland &
up the hill.
Our house was close to
the sea (Western outlook) and there was a way down to the shore
between the pinnacles – we called it 'Miller's Beach'
Puakonikau was near the
highest part of the Island North of Tabwebwa – & Tabiang was
about midway between Tabwebwa and Ooma – lower ground. There was a
Post Office & later a small school for white children; and
several of the Government officials lived near there.
In the meantime Mother
taught me & a few others to read and write and do simple sums.
(She had been a kindergarten teacher.)
Connecting the villages
were roads – dirt and lined with lumps of coral. Lower down on the
flat there was a narrow-gage railway line between Tabwebwa &
Ooma.
We sat on a seat on a flat
car, poled by two natives. When I cut my foot badly the houseboy
called the polers and they got us to Ooma, then one of the polers
carried me up the hill to where the hospital was located. So I had 7
stitches!
The B.P.C [the British
Phosphate Commision] employees got 3 months every 2 years and English
people could have 5 months leave after 2 years to visit England if
they wished.
All our relatives were
in England, so in 1926 we set off on that journey. It took two weeks
– about – to get to Australia – and we then boarded a liner in
Sydney & I think about six weeks later arrived at [the] Tilbury
docks. [The Thames, near London.]
On board there were
lots of children & activities were arranged for them by the
stewards and stewardesses to look after us. Just as well as my
Mother, as soon as she boarded a boat, was always sick.
From Tilbury we went by
train to Kettering, Northamtonshire – the home of my auntie Maud,
(father's older sister), her husband & granny Miller (then called
Shrives).
Granny was tiny –
white haired, rosy cheeks. She always wore black frocks tight
waisted, with white inset at neck and high collars, usually white
lace. She spent her days doing the mending, darning socks etc, and
always jad to,e for a hug with us especially Frank, who was about to
be 5. [Joy was then 9½].
There
were two horrors ahead for us: Frank and I were to be left here when
Mother and Dad returned to the Island. Number 2 was school!
School
was a tall brick building with a paved yard for a playground. Frank
was with the beginners, but of course I was with my age group, and
amongst so many children – I was completely bewildered and soon
made such a fuss that at home, absolutely refusing to go to school.
Eventually
I was put in a small private school with just a few girls and managed
to settle down quite happily. This was run by two sisters, the Miss
Butchers & was a preparitory school for the high school which we
started at 11 years.
Soon
we started having piano lessons. Our teacher was Miss Longmate, a
friend of Auntie's who lived nearby. Frank* did not go on for long
but I loved it & rapidly progressed.
Our
uncle bought a car & that was a great excitement. All Summer long
on fine Saturdays or Sundays we went for drives and picnics &
found all the lovely country side around. The further afield for a
day outing to Felixstowe & the beach.
The
waters were and the snow were strange to us at first, and then the
dark coming at 3 pm on some days. Somedays it was too bad to go to
school, but we soon found the pleasure out of it with slides &
snow balls etc.
Holidays staying with
various Aunts & cousins (mother's sisters & their children),
were a delight. Three of her sisters: Mary, Totte & Daisy lived
at Weymouth on the South Coast and we spent many wonderful weeks
there with [many] days at the beach. How we got there I cant
remember. Probably taken by car by the Andrews family who lived near
us and were friends of Auntie Tottie. Mother's younger sister Bara &
her husband were sole teachers at a village school not far from
Kettering & I enjoyed staying there with all those cousins (5 of
them). Country rambles & picking blackberries was the main
attraction there.
Mother's brother Rowley
lived at Woburn, a small village near Bedford. He lived with his wife
and children. These were: Molly, about 3 or 4 years older than me, &
Teddy, a bit older still. Rowley lost a leg through wounds in the
Boer War & travelled about on a motor bike side-car. I enjoyed
staying week-ends with them, or a few days in Winter holidays.
…...............................................................................................................................
....................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................
My news of Joy is great today
..................................................................................................................................
..................................................................................................................................….....................................................................................................................................
*My uncle Frank later
stayed in England when my mother returned to Melbourne [Firbank High
School] and Ocean Island, and he was in the RAF flying, inter alia,
bombers, more or less near the end of the war. He told me that this
was really a terrible time and most of his mates were killed. He also
told me the anecdote of the bombs jettisoning. Flying from Africa to
bomb German-French targets they were all due for leave. Over the
intercom as they headed out he suggested that they head straight for
the Atlantic, drop the bombs, then head straight to England. They did
so.
.................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................
..................................................................................................................................
C/o D Stacy (?)
Kimbolton Rd
Bedford
10th June
1917
My own dearest Hubby,
It was so nice to get
news that you are feeling better. I really hope you are, because I
don't like to think of you as feeling so rotten, especially when I am
getting on so nicely. I think your plan for the vot is fine. I am
long to see it and I shall treasure it all the more because you have
made it my dear s you see it will be double a "Treasure Cot."
That is the name of the make of the ones that are here....
My news of Joy is great
today.......
She has gained 8 more
ounces since Tuesday, so now she weighs 6 ¼
lbs. She ought not to have been weighed till Tuesday, but when she
was undressed for her bath this morning, Sister could not resist the
temptation of weighing her and found she had gained 8 more ounces
since Tuesday. I feel proud as an old hen – and I know you will be
pleased. She is getting quite heavy. I'm sure you will see a great
difference when you come next time. She has had more presents. Daisy
sent her a bonnet yesterday, & Tottie came to see me and brought
a lot of ribbon to adorn her frocks with. Mother and Lottie have been
up this afternoon....
….................................................................................................................................
......I
wonder when you will be getting away from
camp............................................
….........................................I
do wish the beastly old war could stop – I want you always.
With all my love dear one
and Joy's love too
Your loving wife
Beattie
....................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................
LETTER FROM MY GREAT GRANDMOTHER - FROM ENGLAND TO OCEAN ISLAND (BANABA).
LETTER FROM MY GREAT GRANDMOTHER - FROM ENGLAND TO OCEAN ISLAND (BANABA).
14 Rockingham
Road
Kettering
My Dearest Jack & Beattie
we often
talk about you and wonder a bout you all and what you
are all doing. if you
are getting ready for Christmas. We have got our
pudding and have
Christmas cake maid also the mincemeat maid. And we
are expecting [Franky
(?) ] on Thursday for his holadays I supose he is
looking forward to
the chang. We are afraid we have offended you both
as we get no letters
from you the only new is from [Jay (?)] I am Glad
you have such a good
times Gertie and all at [?] are all well. We are
going to [?]* for
Christmas day and they will come to us for Boxing day.
I am very pleased to
say that your uncle Alfred is getting on so well he
seem quite is old
self we are well just now hoping this will find you all
well I supose you are
happy now with Joy with you now We often talk
about you all and we
miss Jay [Joy?] verey much especaly when I am hear by
my self But we hope
she will get on well My dears I have not much
to tell you now I
must now close with best love to you Beattie & Joy
I still remain your ever
loving
Mother E G Shrive
* This might be Des.
...............................................................................................................................
Tamaki Estuary -- Our walk there last year.
Mother and Lottie have been up this afternoon....
….................................................................................................................................
......I wonder when you will be getting away from camp............................................
….........................................I do wish the beastly old war could stop – I want you always.
With all my love dear one and Joy's love too
Your loving wife
-------------------------------------------------------- -------------------------------------------------
PANMURE BASIN & DUCKS
E N D OF T H E F I R S T P A R T OF T H E
'SECOND PART' ALTHOUGH
THERE ARE NO PARTS,
NO STORIES AS SUCH, NO ORDER.....
THE UNIVERSE DISAPPROVES OF ORDER: IT PREFERS BURNING THINGS OUT OF EXISTENCE: OR IT OR GOD IS MAD OR WE CANNOT CONCEIVE OF THIS BEING WE TALK OF SO MUCH......SO SPAKE THE WISE ONE AS HE SANG HIS WAY DOWN THE STREET EITHER TO A NEW ADVENTURE OR TO OBLIVION.....
CCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCC
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
'SECOND PART' ALTHOUGH
THERE ARE NO PARTS,
NO STORIES AS SUCH, NO ORDER.....
THE UNIVERSE DISAPPROVES OF ORDER: IT PREFERS BURNING THINGS OUT OF EXISTENCE: OR IT OR GOD IS MAD OR WE CANNOT CONCEIVE OF THIS BEING WE TALK OF SO MUCH......SO SPAKE THE WISE ONE AS HE SANG HIS WAY DOWN THE STREET EITHER TO A NEW ADVENTURE OR TO OBLIVION.....
CCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCC
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
.I do wish the beastly old war could stop
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